hey guys..sorry for not blogging for a long long time..have been really down and unmotivated these few weeks..things haven been going on the way i wanted..i got totally no idea whats happening to me too..just feeling unmotivated..
my family have been messy lor..always dun feel like going home..wanna stay out longer..my mommy everyday also nag..got thing or nothing oso nag..then scold scold scold..really cannot take it le..got my results too..not the scores i wanted but expected..things just went wrong somehow..
seeing ppl study hard and got high marks..felt happy for them lor..i have tried my best to concentrade on studying..but its jus not working lor..oso dunno why..ever since exam period started i felt so left out lor..frens dun bother about me..some frens changed[alot]..not the people i know anymore.. always tried to set my heart and mind on study mode but no matter how i read and practise..just cannot remember a thing afterwhile.. see all my friends happily enjoying holidays i feel so weird..feeling very burdened..oso dunno why..just couldnt be happy even for awhile..ya lah..sometimes i do laugh alittle here and there..but not true bahx..just hope that my friends are happy lor..later they will ask why and why..haha..
life now is just going a different way..no longer the days i wanted or had last time..friends left me..parents quarrelled and siblings oso..everyday only noe how to nag at me..never thought of my feelings..as if i wanted things to go on this way..like i wanted my results to be so bad..hais..only can blame myself not working hard enough..feeling kinda stupid now..always asked myself..if i study hard i wun be like that le..if i study hard enough mommy and daddy wun quarrel le..hais..
is it really God's way?is it a plan of His or something..or am i heading the wrong way..i really dunno..all these things always happen to me..bad things keep coming..good things just disappeared somehow..can someone tel me whats going on in my life..going to explode soon..i really dun wan things to continue this way..
been spending alot of time with my family..although all i get back is nagging.. mommy made rice dumplings today..i helped out abit..bought some for ppl in church..about 8..played floorball..that was the happiest moment in so many many days..haven been laughing so much..but after they left..i feel lonelyness covering me agai..no one to talk to..speak to..hais..i am just soo weird.. i just cannot live w/o friends bahx..i really cant..seeing my friends feeling happier with others..i feel weird..i dunno how to describe it..but i will just feel that i am not a good friend to others..instead a burden bahx..i really dunno..
*ximinn ~just feeling left out..umotivated..have lost my way..
`him
`bright/dark colours
`captains ball
`be a listening ear
`music for life!
`shopping
`going out with frens
`slack:)
`stargazing
`beach life
*[[____ hates :( `-//*
`eating
`People touchin my hair
`To be nagged at
`Backstabbers
`Troublemakers
`People lying to miee
`things not going the correct way
`forced to do thing i dun wanna do
*[[____ wishlist :/ `-//*
`to be widd him
`change to b a better person
`get good results
`dun nneed to study
`a adiddas/puma bag
`e converse shoe
`formal clothes
`more bears=)
`new wallet
`that op file
`more friends
`a room to myself
`live a life of freedom
`L7 or w800i=X
