. * reality hurts * .

2006-09-15T15:49:00.000+08:00

hey guys..be moving to a new blog..

wun be updating here anymore..yupps..but i will keep everything intact..
and please re-link me okies..
to my new blog~ CLICK HERE

bye guys..
*ximin
`memories that wil never be forgotten..

2006-09-10T15:54:00.000+08:00

i jus hate my life and eveything thats going on around me..
welcome to my life~
-
finished building the glider already..finally its over..getting cuts all the time..how nice~
have jus suffered from 8 stitches last thursday..and hopefully no more..
luckily my mom couldnt be bothered abt it..if not i am so dead..
coming to think of it..it was purely distractions and i find it stupid..and i see no fun abt it..
cant see how ppl laugh their heads off abt it..smart eh?
-
anw..i am finally back from camps and sad to say..holidays are ending..
i think i did enjoy myself in some parts of the camps..
watched fast and furious tokyo drift again in camp and also too fast too furious..
i find too fast too furious kinda boring..but overall..its nice~
-
nothing much happen to me during the whole holidays bahx..not say nth much..
maybe i jus cant be bothered to think abt it..coming to think of time spent doing some things..
i find it a total wastage..
was thinking abt some stuff happening after since semester 2 starts..
finding myself doing alot of things tt i didnt noe i would..and indeed i've learnt from the mistakes done and got most of it corrected..some are jus mistakes tt are unforgivable..which i find nth wrong widd..
from those mistakes..i find myself not able to understand how others think and feel even by a lil bit.. fine myself simply diff from them..living in a completely diff world from them..
ppl get things done easily..me? i took the long way out..getting nth done but mistakes made..
ppl get what they wan easily..me?i fight hard for it..
they find happiness easily..me? i struggled to find mine..
gotta admit that indeed diff ppl have diff way of doing things and have diff thinking from one and other..i am jus weird
-
[to her]
congrats..finally u found someone u like eh..after 3 whole year..
finally can get my hands off you and let you walk on your own..
and as for me it s finally time to get my own things done and sorted out..
and its finally time for me to face my won problems and try to get them over and done widd i hope..beside for tt problem[u shld noe]..think i will try not to think and bother abt it first..
but study hard for exams first..yupps..
but meanwhile..before i can do it..i think i wun be going down to club until exams r over..
theres nth much for me there now..except for problems and more problems..
simply find myself wasting my time doing things i shoudnt..i indeed enjoyed my time spent lah.. but..when its time to let it go..i have to..will go down this sat i think..to get some stuff..
and after tt i be studying for exams already..u shld noe my studies sucks..
i needa get them done widd..but if u wanna go out still can ask me..i be glad to do so..
and meanwhile..its time for you to study..you can live 5 weeks w/o going to club..
after tt you can go there everyday..i wun stop u..
meanwhile u can still meet up widd HIM to study tho..i think he be glad to do so too..he will love it lah..anyhthing sms me bahx..will reply asap..
-
[to her laogong]
weis..happie le hor..finally got her smitten to you..told you you would make it lerhx..haha..
anw..glad to see her happie..haven seen her this happie le bahx..give her to you lerhx..
finally got a burden off my back..*relieved*
love her hor..dun cheat her feelings..make her happie..or you get it from me..
and thanks for ur doggies..they are cute..=)
-
Because of you I never stray too far from the sidewalk
Because of you I learned to play on the safe side so I don't get hurt
Because of you I tried my hardest just to forget everything
Because of you I don't know how to let anyone else in
Because of you I'm ashamed of my life because it's empty
Because of you I am afraid
Because of you Because of you
-
No one ever lied straight to your face
And no one ever stabbed you in the back
You might think I'm happy But I'm not gonna be ok
Everybody always gave you what you wanted
You never had to work It was always there
You don't know what it's like
What it's like
Welcome to my life

-
*ximin
`if i were to know tt the truth hurts so much..i rather not know it..
`i cant change the direction of the wind..but i can adjust the sail..

`I'm forced to fake, a smile, a laugh Every day of my life

2006-08-23T23:54:00.000+08:00

*ximin
` will blog tml.

`- [[ have got so much to say..but i really dunno how to put it across ]]

2006-08-22T22:07:00.000+08:00

back from life~
-
hmm..having been tutoring a lil primary four girl since ytd..
she's so funny lah..laugh non stop de..haha..raymonds sister..anw..
shes abit slow in learning.but very enthu to noe things..so cool lah..
its my 2nd time tutoring..now..its my job=)
twice a week..8 times per month..$80.. kinda underpaid..but nvm lah..as long as having fun=)
-
now having two jobs..tutoring and my daddy shop..really having fun bahx..
its kind of a escape road for me..working time makes me think less abt other things..
work makes ppl think less i think..i dun wanna be brooding over things i shldnt all day long..
-
hmm..school have been okie bahx..jus cant stop falling aslp in class..
haven been slping well for days..after seeing the stupid creature on net..hais..
feel so ridiculous abt it..shall sleep well tonight..i hope~
been busy abt the coming up flying frenzy com and all the test..cant stop studying lah..
i really really dun wanna drop to na..or retake sec 3 life..no way...
flying frenzy is abt 2 weeks away..and we haven even start building yet..so dead lah..
really hope we'll be able to complete and compete on time..
-
[the one i have loggerheads widd all the time:]
heys..abt the thing you mus really consider wor..think of the consequneces pls..
but if you really wanna do it..than do it lo..have fun=)
eh..abt tt day..dunwanna tok abt it le..and you tag alot lehx..spamming me izzit..haha..
eh..hate it when you say alot of meaningful things..change my views..=X
okies..dun wanna write so much..later you "spam" me again..haha..
have fun in sch lo..i will try to slp aeap..
you didnt set good example as a mommy wor..own self slp so late..wth..
hao lahx..end here for ya..
-
[to the one who is suddenly so caring:]
hey daddy..wah..how come suddenly so good..come tag my blog all the time..haha..
ur effort appreciated=) hao lah..now will treat u slightly better=X
eh..rmb the blueblack u gave me on sat..haha..its still there lah..same shape,colour,size..
lol..haven improve..but not pain liaox..win liao lor..i slightly scratch u nia you pinch me..
hmm..nvm lah..bu tong le..next time hao le than let you pinch again..
eh..any idea how to make it better..very ugly lehx..aiyoyo..
-
[to 16.25]
eh..welcome to my blog=) thanks for reading n tagging..
ur tags are encouragement to me truely=)
found slightly better reasons to live life well and meaningful..thanks=)
will learn how to not brood over thing i shldnt..and live life well enuff to feel fair=) takecare~
-
shall end here today..bye~
*ximin
`i cant be as perfect as u think i am..but i will live life to the fullest..no matter you like it or not..

`got really so much to tell you.but i really really dunno how to put it across..

2006-08-20T18:43:00.000+08:00

i'm wilful.childish..unreasonable..so~
-
wilful..childish..unreasonable..so..thats me..i dunno how to think abt others feeling..
i am not as smart as others..i think much slower..i dun understand seriousness abt things..
so..i may not be as good as you tot of..i may be bad in things..but i got feelings too kies..
yess..i may be very very childish at times..but i got reasons too kies..
if you dun like it..sorry..i dun think you wanna befriend me.
-
went out ytd widd my friends..the day didnt went as well as i tot lah..
kinda have a bad day..but well..see them as happie i am okie too..
hmm..went bugis junction..bras basah..marina..okie bahx..
went bowling and stuff..wasnt in the mood to play..so jus anyhow lo..
at least i got my troubles down the alley..dun wanna brood over things i shldnt..but i cant do it..
got kinda sick after getting into the rain..but it doesnt matter much..i wun die~
hmm..had dinner at bugis 7th storey hotel..the food was nice..
than went back bugis junction play arcade..didnt play at all ..too many ppl..
hmm..went back to woodlands and saw mommy and daddy off..
than went walking ard instead f going home..wasnt in the mood to go home yet lah..
went ard thinking of things..was simply too troubled..ah well..
think i am better now..jus hate going home so early lahx..time alone out rocks..
simply hate ppl nagging at me for no reason..its my life lah..
i like going out till late nights..so..its my rights lah..no one have the rights to stop me..
yupps..thats it..
thats me and my life..no one will n can stop me from it..unless its someone i <3>
-
[the one i keep having loggerheads widd..]
okie..i noe i was at fault ytd..i sorry alrite..
but i jus hate the feeling of going home early and tts me..dun worry abt me lah..i'm a grown up..
i not a 3 yr old kid..i dun need ppl to worry for me..i noe wat to do alrite..
you dun worry abt me lahx..i'll be okie de..
okie..hope you had fun ytd lo..you dun look happie..always liddat..wats wrong sia..
if its abt me..than sorrie wor..but bu yao ying wei wo bu kai xin..its now worth it..
dun ever do it again..the more you care abt me the more i hate it..its jus not worth it..
i now you care and worry..but..i noe wat i am doing lah..i noe wat i am thinking..
you dun have to worry de kies..not like i am a lil girl who will lost my way..
aiya..i noe i sound very guo fen..but i really hate it when you do tt..
i jus feel irritted lah..i feel like a lil girl and my mom naggin..hen fan lor..
its like i got no life lah..i noe you care..but i've got my thinking and life..
i jus sorry alrite..dui bu qi..
-
[to the one i keep irritating and made angry..]
hey..sorry to raise my voice at you ytd..okie..i noe my attitude jus sucks..
i'm sorry kies..bu yao sheng qi le kies..hmm..hope you have fun ytd..
anw..goodluck for ur coming up tests..jiayou..
-
end here first..shall blog when my mood is better..bye
*ximin
`i'm sorry okie..i am jus not as perfect as you tot..jus leave me alone for awhile..i'll be okie..

2006-08-20T18:36:00.000+08:00

Welcome To My Life

by Simple Plan

Do you ever feel like breaking down? 
Do you ever feel out of place? 
Like somehow you just don't belong 
And no one understands you 

Do you ever want to run away? 
Do you lock yourself in your room? 
With the radio on turned up so loud 
That no one hears you screaming 

No you don't know what it's like 
When nothing feels alright 
You don't know what it's like
To be like me 

To be hurt, to feel lost 
To be left out in the dark 
To be kicked when you're down 
To feel like you've been pushed around 
To be on the edge of breaking down 
And no one's there to save you 
No you don't know what it's like 
Welcome to my life 

Do you wanna be somebody else? 
Are you sick of feeling so left out? 
Are you desperate to find something more 
Before your life is over?

Are you stuck inside a world you hate? 
Are you sick of everyone around? 
With their big fake smiles and stupid lies 
While deep inside you're bleeding 

No you don't know what it's like 
When nothing feels alright 
You don't know what it's like
To be like me 

To be hurt, to feel lost 
To be left out in the dark 
To be kicked when you're down 
To feel like you've been pushed around 
To be on the edge of breaking down 
And no one's there to save you 
No you don't know what it's like 
Welcome to my life 

No one ever lied straight to your face 
And no one ever stabbed you in the back 
You might think I'm happy 
But I'm not gonna be ok 
Everybody always gave you what you wanted 
You never had to work
It was always there 
You don't know what it's like 
What it's like 

To be hurt, to feel lost 
To be left out in the dark 
To be kicked when you're down 
To feel like you've been pushed around 
To be on the edge of breaking down 
And no one's there to save you 
No you don't know what it's like (what it's like) 

To be hurt 
To feel lost 
To be left out in the dark 
To be kicked 
When you're down 
To feel like you've been pushed around 
To be on the edge of breaking down 
And no one's there to save you 
No you don't know what it's like 
Welcome to my life 

Welcome to my life 
Welcome to my life 

*ximin
`you'll nvr understand.

2006-08-16T21:24:00.000+08:00

stress..tired..dunno what to do..
-
bleahx...have been so tired out by school work and cca stuff..fan si le!
things jus arent going well for me now i guess..but will be striving on hard..
i overcame it before.i believe i can do it again~go girl!
-
have been very hot tempered these few days lah..things jus arent going correctly..
okie..maybe i am wrong at times..but its really irritating lah..
trying to learn to be filled widd more patience now..hmm..how to say..
maybe i am jus too tired lah..haven been slping alot though..been mugging and mugging..
but things read just cant be rmbed..
-
school have been normal bahx..jus tiring..long hours of studying..
have been sleeping in class lately..trying not to lah..but really cant take it sometimes..yupps..
and..cca too..have been having so much conflicts over lil lil stuffs..but sometimes..
its really vexed to see how the lower sec are doing thing..
every lil thing complain non stop..its like theres nth i can do..i jus watch and try to help lor..
hmm..nvm..shldnt complain too much too..finding myself a nag..=X
-
was talking to my frens abt promises today lahx..than realise..i have been breaking promises i made unknowingly..even lil lil ones means alot..i reall didnt noe..hmm..
than my fren told me..next time when promises are made..try to fufil it..
but meanwhile when making a promise..think whether if you can do it anot..
have confidences b4 making any..because broken promises really hurts alot lahx..
it may mean nth to oneself..but the other party can be hurt very deeply..
and pls..never never think tt promise are meant to be broken..it isnt lahx..its very unfair..
very very unfair..it hurts really deeply..i've tried..so yupp..never to make a empty promise again!
-
and..i have been going home late..not really late..but abt 7 plus 8..
okie..i noe its very bad..but sometimes i really dun wish to be home..its like theres nth i can do.. gets really bored out lah..theres like no one to tok to..its always only 2 person home..
my mom and me..all the time..i noe i shld keep my mom accompany..but we seldom chat too.. she do her things..i do mine..she's always busy too..tt like..
i am alone all to myself..doin nth but facing walls and screens..
okie..i feel so bad now.haish..so stress tired and bored!
-
exams are coming soon..28 sept..i am not ready at all lahx..i still cant get my maths done..
i am so dead..have been starting to pass my maths now..but i am really afriad i wun make it..
hope i do well for the rest of the test coming up..good luck~
-
shall end here bahx..bye~
*ximin
`life here w/o you jus sucks.but what can i do..hmm.no matter what..i'll be strong..

2006-08-13T21:11:00.000+08:00

survived thru camp~
-
fianlly i am back from national camp le..had fun lah,..foxtrot rocks!
our cheer: OI~OI~SUB SUB OI~FOXTROT FOXTROT SUB SUB OI~
ppl there are nice lahx..very nice..our platoon too! very sporting..how nice..
before camp was like..i dun wanna go..now i miss them lots..hmm..
-
activities in camp are nice too..we did:
-cutter pulling/kayaking
-survival village
-imt training
-first aid skills
-field cooking
-mt biking
and many more!
campfire was nice too..foxtrot was very very sporting..haha...cheering non stop..
foxtrot u guys ROCKS!=)
-
okie..theres many more stuff that happen..but i am not blogging it..=)
shld be kept as sweet momories~hehes~
will put up the grp pics soon..waitintg for ppl to send it to me..hmm~
-
four days in camp are spent fruitfully lahx..not as bad as i tot..but everything i slike prison life.. lol..the way the room is arrange..the way we collect food in the cook house..
and..we have been eating chicken all the time~lunch and dinner..sick of it lah..
despite being frm diff sch and cca..we bond tgt very well..everyone had fun tgt~
i think the thing tt made us bond well are the cheers..haha..did alot alot of cheers lah..
overall i enjoyed myself..FOXTROT 6 rocks!
-
[the one i haven seen for 3 days..]
heys..haven seen you in camp lahx..first time didnt see you for so long..lol~
had fun mahx? overall i think FOXTROT is still better can~lol..especially my platoon~hehes..
okie lah.ur coy are good too..=)
waa..i dunwanna play daytona widd u liaox..always mmake me fly away..pig head..
lose so many match today..and we played widd kids! my goodness..
its amazing to see how they play can..hmm..go again soon?=)
got sick of food now..cant eat anything..think havin gastric...anw..
no more fast fod for me..i am so so sick of it..i wan good food..=)
waa..ur lao gong so good sia..come pick eu..i feel so extra can..=(
dun wanna go out widd u two le..always bully.daddy and mommy the same..hais..so notti..=X
hmm..end here first..catch up widd ya soon=)
-
[to the one who cant be bothered widd me]
heys! waa..so nice of you to come BoonLay and pick her up..haha..
but why you never help her take things..aiyo..so heavy..tsk tsk..
and u beat me in daytona again=( bu ke yi qian jiu wo for awhile mehx..always win=(
daddy bully~ hmm..overall is still okie lahx..jus tiring..so super no mood to play..
and worse thing is we are playing widd kids..my goodness..they are so irritating..
cant believe it..think will end here first..write more for eu tml~
-
gtg off le..update more tml=) bye~
*ximin
`FOXTROT FOXTROT SUB SUB OI~=) platoon 6 ROCKS

2006-08-09T11:40:00.000+08:00

a day of chill outs~
-
went out again ytd..had fun lahx..as least i laugh alot..=)
hmm..watch tokyo drift widd my "family" ytd..its so nice lahx..hmm..
than went around looking for places to have fun..we went to play daytona..
after that went bowling...
played super badly lahx..maybe too tired lerhx..couldnt lift up the ball=X
went home kinda late ytd..made mommy worry..hehes..
but told her will be home late beforehand..so ya~
-
sign..will be having national camp tml..really dun wanna go lahx..4 days 3 nites..
its so longg~doubt will be having fun anw..think i will be slacking all the way lah..
only hope that the nite skies are nice=)
-
[to the one i keep having loggerheads widd..]
hmm..i think i get wat u meant lerhx..jus the diff betweenn yes or no...
kinda confused lah..ah well..gimi time to think..you shld noe i think very slow derhx..=P
ytd was fun lahx..but wasted i whole box of ''bullets''..
felt like a kid again to see them play tt way..but seriously its nice..
hmm..you and him okie le bahx? how come like so shy de..lol..
haha..ytd u won daddy in daytona..so fun can..lol~but daddy didnt complain at all..
tts so funny lor..i won him too..hes like got 2 match ranking last? haha..
hao lahx..you continue doing ur dnt lahx..dun get distracted by ur hp..keep it away first..
kuai dian zuo wan..than can have "fun" during nc tml..bye~
-
[to the one that couldnt be bother widd me]
heys..ytd was a nice time spent..thankew=)
hmm..you arhs..dun keep bullying her hor..very pathetic de lehx..=X..
haha..ytd got last for daytona..never see you liddat b4..ni mei shi bahx..
and you very mean can..always say me=( hate you arhs..[jokin jokin]
ytd i very guai hor..nvr attitude at all..promised u and i did it=)
okie..i think i did abit..but overall i still very guai=) me good girl hor=X
hmm..go out to bowl more often arhs..i wanna play..=p
hmm..end here for ya..cos dunno what else to add=)bye~
-
[to the one who pays our cab fares=p]
heys korkor..how come u dis few days so sad derhx..you still angry widd me arhs?
dui bu qi wor..bu yao shang qi le kies?
hows ur finger lerhx?still hurrt mahx?must becareful arhs..
hmm..thanks for ytd wors..had fun~=) next time go bowl again kies?
abt him..dun bother lahx..he s jus so weird can..dun think u needa report to him where and
who you are widd lahx..who is he to do that anw..well..i got nth to say abt him lerhx..bye~
-
i think i end my post here..needa go do my work lerhx..bye~
*ximin
`take ur time bahx..it doesnt matter..wo hui hao hao guo=)

2006-08-07T17:04:00.000+08:00

dreading school-,-..
-
school is getting more and more boring! haish..maybe not lah..but jus feel sleepy everytime i am in class..doing the same things over and over again is so sians lo....anw..
-
sat:
went club super early in the morning..hmm..didnt do anything much lahx..slept for awhile tho..
was so bored lor..nth to do..ah wells..
went out widd mommy daddy and kor..went playing arcade...wasnt in the mood lahx..
so jus anyhow play..had fun? think so..but jus couldnt smile or laugh..even a lil..
hmm..then went to a resevoir..hmm..keep throwing stones lah..
trying to throw all my unhappiness away..feel a lil better after that..
hmm..than went safra for bowling..my skills dropped like dunno what..wasnt in the mood bahx... feeling so moody the whole day..dunno why..jus not feeling like myself..too tired out le bahx.. hmmm..anw..went to work after tt..was soo tired when i got home..
-
sunday:
went for service in the morning..chatted widd the younger ones..had so much fun i guess..
hmm..than went to sentosa for amazing race..ran ard sentosa like mad..so tiring lahx..
but really had fun..sentosa beach is still very nice though..looking at the beach makes me feel happy..wanna go there again..hmm..
had dinner at yongling's place widd sarah..chatted alot..watched tv..than went home at abt 10~
had a fruitful day i guessed..but really tired out..
-
today~
went to school in the morning..nothing much happen i guess..still the smae things..
was smsing in class tho..really too bored liaox..notti rite..heehees..
hmm..wasnt paying attention in class though..slept throughout the whole bio lesson..
talked throughout physics..feel so nottii..but nvm..i already understand what the lesson is abt..
so nvm der..hmm..
went to cwp with mommy today..didnt talk alot like we normally did..
wasnt in the mood bahx..lol..was so sleepy wheni was talking to her..
and found out tt we couldnt stop quarrelling..jus couldnt agree on sth..but nvm..
jus gimi sometime to settle down kies..sorry..
-
[to the one i have loggerheads widd all the time]
heys..sorry to keep throwing my temper on you..but i really couldnt help it..
hmm..we jus couldnt agree on sths lahx..and i hate it..i really do..
aiya..should stop interfering ur life le..feel so extra..couldnt help much anw..
some kinda thing..only u can help yourself..jus follow ur heart lor..
but u needa noe tt..u have to give it a try b4 u noe wat will happen next..
jus try kies..dun worry lahx..i be here for u..bu kai xin jiu lai zhao wo=)
hmm..abt sass..i dun give a damn abt them ler..getting on my nerves..and..
couldnt be bothered lah..u shold stop being nice to them too..they will step on you lah..
aiya..you got the choice to choose..i got no say over it..jus wan you to be happy tho..tc~
-
[to the one who couldnt be bothered widd me..]
heys..noe you have been really busy..dun worry lah..i wun be disturbing you lerhx..
do well in ur exams kies..dun slack liaox..study hard..hmm..time spent widd u have been kinda nice..maybe not..well..as long as mommy happen..wu suo wei..i dun mind lah..
hmm..if u wanna go out again tell me lo..will ask her along..
i guess will stop going club for awhile..wanna forget some stuff..
dun wanna brood over things i sldnt..dun worry..i be jus fine..
help me take good care of her kies..dun make her angry anymore..i wun let u off..
hmm..wun be smsing tt much liaox..since all have been so busy..
wanna go out jus ask me lo..i wanna destress man..
-
[to the one who treat us on sat]
heys..dun angry le kies..i didnt mean to do so..was jus joking..will pay u back der..
hmm..bowling more often?i wana play..=X
will try to ask ltd out too..hope he is free lo..you take care kies..study hard!=)
-
shall end her today..nth much to blog abt..will blog soon..
*ximin
`jus couldnt forgt abt u..is it wrong to even noe u in the first place..i really dunno lah..i really dun..takecare kies..wun be disturbing u anymre..

2006-08-05T23:43:00.000+08:00

my bowling skills dropped like dunno what..=(
-
hmm..when bowling today..did so badly..learned how to slide and aim the ball properly lerhx..but because not enuff strength..keep cleaning the drains..haish..did so badly..last time can strike like siao..now cannot le..but learnt the correct way of playing..so kinda happy=)
-
went out widd mommy, daddy and kevin..kinda have fun..kinda not..dunno why oso..
jus not feeling happy lor..heart very empty..couldnt concentrade..play arcade oso liddat..haish..
play daytona..did well in first few match.dunno why at the back getting worse..last all the way..
was thinking abt many things..cant seem to sort it out properly..hmm..
seriously need more sleep these few days..so tired out..haish..play abit tired liaox..
my sister told me..if you are unhappy.. you get tired easily..
sounded kinda realistic..cos i have been trying my best to be happy but i jus cant..the feeling inside is jus messy and weird..things keep piling..things tt cannot be sorted out..
ah well..need time lo~
-
[to the one i have loggerheads widd more often now]
heys..really dunno why..we jus keep quarreling..
hmfpt..hate the feeling lo..the way we think is getting worse..haish..
you arhs.sleep more can..ever since u now him you haven been slping lor..
slp so late in the night..wake up so early in the morning..you mad arhs..
haha..now i noe why u so short liaox..not enuff slp..
abt sass..i seriously feel that u shld be so nice towards them..they will jus step on you..
you needa be more fierce lah..so soft..aiyoyo..ppl think you nice to bully..
aiya..jus feeling tt ever since you knew these ppl you chnged alot.and i dun like it..
i noe i got no rights..but i jus dun like it lo..nvm lah..i think i will get use to it..
anw..talk more tml bahx..very tired now..=p
-
shall end short today..too sleepy..bye~
*ximin
`i miss ya lots..i'm serious..but i think u wun understand how i feel..cant do it w/o u..really cant..
wish you will understand..really wish so..

2006-08-01T21:19:00.000+08:00

went out widd [brenda]mommy today~
-
hmm..went out widd mommy to get some stuff jus now..was too bored lah..
got a new pair of jeans and some more cross stitch designs..they are nice~=)
hmmm..went home after that lo..same as usual..chatted alot..non stop toking..hahaha..
toking to her is jus so fun bahx..hmm..
-
nth much happen lately..jus getting tired very easily..need more slp i guess..hmm..
school have been okie too..nth special happen lo..still kinda dread school..hate to wake up so early..
wells..what to do..hang on there for a few more months and can get break liaox=)
wanna do so much things..
-star gazing
-sit by the beach
-movies~
-camps..
-shoppping ard widd ppl
etc~

so much things i wanna do..wanna get them done soon=)
-
[to the one i spent most of the time widd..]
heys! so happy after buying those cross stitches..lol~they are so nice can=)
hmm..abt him..forget it lah..they are jus being CHILDISH and IRRITATING..
committing suicide is the last thing they will do lah..dun trust them can..
today really got shocked by you le..continue to smile like before lehx..so scary lehx..=(
hmm..time spent widd u have been great..keep toking non stop..lol~
walking thru and fro from sch to my hse..my hse to ur hse..then back to my hse..lol~walk walk..
hmm..wanna go cwp again tml..i wanna buy some things..wan pei wo mahx?
maybe go catch a movie soon..[lake house] and [the fast and the furious tykoyo drift..]=)
waa..sound so so nice..hehes..we ask them along too..if they wanna join us=)
oh ya..haven done widd ur blog..when u got time tell me..cant do alone..=)
tok to you more tml..take care ah girl! dun miss him too much wors..lol~
-
[to the one who dun bother abt me liaox..]
hmm..dunno why hor..u always dun reply my msges de..you noe ppl get worried mahx..hais..
nvm lahs..i dun mind..hmm..you arhs..help me look after her can..i too tired liaox..
you are now the only one who can make her happy le wor..dun make her sad again kies,,
she have been really down these few days..oso dunno wat u all doing..well..
as long as u all happy can lerhs..i dun mind being left out..hmm..
aiya..dunno wat to tell you le..no mood to blog anything now..anw..jus keep her company..
DUN make her sad again..rao bu liao ni..hmfpt..
-
end here today..not in the mood to blogg..bye
*ximin
~feeling lost..w/o directions..what shld i do..

2006-07-30T21:09:00.000+08:00

didnt get my practicals done today
-
woke up late today..wanted to get my prac done today..
started raining after setting up the lines..
so didnt get to fly in the end..
-
so many things happen today..so tired out..dun wanna tok abt it liaox..hmms..
spent my whole noon toking to mommy over the phone abt some cca stuffs..
finally half of the camp stuffs are done..hope it works out well=)
proposal is still half done..hope to get it done soon..get it over and done widd..=)
-
got home kinda late..abt 8..went cwp then went stargazing..the sky was nice=)
was hoping hard that i could forget abt some stuffs..and get things sort out..
there is so much to think abt..family..friends..cca..any some other little things..
so messed up lah..was standing there for abt an hour then decided to go home..
didnt really got things sort out..only some lo..wells..need more time..
-
[to the one i have loggerheads widd all the time]
heys..wat he say to you is true lah..try to overcome the paranoid..its never easy..
but jus try lo..if u dun try u wun noe whether if it will last..
jus like an apple..u dun eat it u wun noe whether if is nice anot..it may be sour lah..
but slowly it will get sweeter and sweeter de=)trust me..cos i love apples..haha..lousy example.. but..haha..hmm..understand very well how u feeling now..i got it befoe..hmmm..jiayou kies..
widd me around nothing to be afraid of=)haven saw you so happy for a long time le..
whahaha..so happy for eu=)
hmm..abt the camp thing..tok to you more in school tml..i got alot of ideas=X
ideas u dun wanna noe..haha..anw..bring ur hp to class lehx..pei wo chat=X
rmb to take good care wor..dun worry too much abt me..i am doing great..yupps..
jus have to take care of urself well..jiayou for tt thing=) good luck!
-
[to the one studying very hard]
heys..glad you have finish ur reports..hmm..for your test on tuesday..jiayou kies=)goodluck!
wun be seeing you for a long time i guess..until ur exams are over..so long=( abt a month..
hmm..study hard kies..good luck for all ur tests and exams..jiayou!
if u bored in lesson jus dropp me am sms bahx..pei ni chat..lol~
when you all come back le we go for more dinner tgt..hehes..take care ya=)
-
[yongling..]
hey girl..sorry for not turning up for so long..but i got my reasons for it..
will tell you more when its time to=)
the time spent widd ya is great lahx..doing follow-ups..dinners..chattings..games..
you are really great=)seeing you ard makes me feel encourage lahx..thankew!
hmm..Os coming le..jiayou kies..the time spent studying so hard will not be wasted=) JIAYOU!
be running the journey widd ya..study hard kies..take care dear!=)
-
[to the one who is having headache]
heys..you not coming liaox=( will be so bored ard..but dun worry..i will still be happy=)
hmm..your headahce better le mahx..must take good care kies..dun let it beat u flat!
medications will finish very fast de..jus keep eating it on time lo=) jiayou!
you arhs..sleep early can..always slp so late..no wonder will get headaches..notti korkor..
hao lah..u study hard and come back widd flying colours hor=) good luck!=P takecare!
-

end here first..will blog more tml i guess..if i got time =x
*ximin
`things really changed..u are no longer who u are..dreading it..

2006-07-27T19:57:00.000+08:00

2.4km today~

ran so slow lahx..15 mins plus plus..i wanna take again..
sad sia..my stamina dropped so much=( needa train up again lerhx..
hmfpt..
-
had english oral today..did kinda badly lahx..read too fast than didnt do well for the 2 conversation too..=( nth to say.can only blame myself for being too nervous and didnt practise enuff~
-
school today is so tiring bahx..whole body aching like dunno what..than couldnt concentrade today oso..daydreaming the whole day..hais..sth is just not rite..hope it be better tml=)
tml is friday lor..means weekdays coming..no idea how i am gonna spent it..
but have to accompany my girls on sunday..promised made..will go down for awhile=)miss ya girls!
-
hmms..
daddy came back lerhx=) kinda happy kinda not..wells..
happy cos mommy is happy..silly rite..spent dinner time widd him oso lahx..he look so tired lo..
poorthing..hais..
sad becos..i dun wanna say..
-
hmmm..chatted widd mommy so much this few days..like long time no see liddat..funny bahx
been reading her mind too..i really didnt do it on purpose..haha.."great minds think alike"=X
stitching stitching..been stitching non stop bahx..so fun..lol~but straining for the eyes..
made a pouch for my mom..kinda nice..i like it alot..lol~hope she does too..=)
-
[to the one i have loggerheads widd all the time]
heys..happy le bahx..he's back=) haven seen you so happy for a long time..glad for ya!
thanks for accopanying me to sch these few days..haha..so fun! tml u coming?lol~
abt caleb..dun have to bother lah..he is playing only..jus play along or hack care lor..
stay happy most impt!=X what u said was true lahx..they changed and really did..
but its okie for me lahx..i used to it liaox..anw~ dun be too sad le wors..smiles!
they jus got back..its natural for them to say abt things happened there..kinda funny though=)
hmmm..i am not sad lahx//dun worry kies..i am doing good..if u see me sad..
maybe be cos too tired liaox..thinking of sth..you shld noe me well enuff than anyone else lor..lol~
hey..we go stargazing soon cans..i got so much to think nehx..haven found another way to clear it..
hmm..ask dad along bahx..he will love it..and movies soon kies..tok to you again tml=)
-
[to the one who jus came back]
heys! knew u read my blog liaox..but u didnt tag! told you to do so..aiyoyo..
oso dunno what u thinking bahx..and will never do..u so chim..aiyoyo..
hmm..help me take care of mom kies..i really wear off liaox..she have found the pillar and tts you..
i havent found mine yet..jus keep her happy..dun forget to reply her smses..she will worry de lehx..
hmm..what else..oh ya..you owe my my bear! so long liaox=( and movies anytime?
hmmm..meanwhile u study hard kies..u missed 1 mth liaox..dun slack de hor..
wo bu yun xu ni cong du ban nian shu..its forbidded kies..study well=)
aiya..nth to tell u liaox..jus stay happy and take care of her=)
-
end here le..too tired and not in the correct mood to blog..
bye~
*ximin
`does things really have to be in this way..i really hate it can..cant it be jus like before..what happen to the nice moments we had tgt? i guess i really cant do anything but jus let it carry on..but i seriously miss the happy moments we had tgt..the laughter we had..hate to see things go liddat..i miss eu guys lots and i really do..=(

2006-07-25T20:30:00.000+08:00

had napfa today..did okie bahx..
but wanna retake my shuttle run and standing broad jump..didnt do well for tt..
didnt even get a C..wan an A=)
-
ah well..was late for sch today..cos i slept late..luckily made it on time for my maths test..
hmm..fell asleep during lit class today..was so tired lah..
plus the lesson so boring lah..hais..class was so small today..only 28 turn up..so unlively..
NO lIFE can~
-
hmpft..

daddy and friends coming back le..
really got no idea i shld be happy and enthu to see them back..
or sad and not loooking forward..i really got no idea lahx..i am so confused..
oso dunno how they are doing now..all the news i noe other ppl say de..
no one telling me anything liaox..lif w/o them here is really terrible lahx..
hate it when they dun reply me..the feeling is really cannot take it lor..
ahwell..maybe they are too busy or tired to reply me..dun bother liaox..
-
tml needa pei mommy and korkor go airport..hope i can go bahx..dun wan mommy to go alone..
hmm..hope i skip the industial park visit tml..i really dun wanna go..
but till now i still cannot find another reason to go changi to fetch them tml..
its like..their parents will be fetching them..than no point going liao..
also wun be meeting for dinner or stuff..no idea lahx..tml than see how lo..
jus wanna see mom happy..
-
[to the one i have loggerheads widd]
heys..shld be happy le bahx..daddy be backk tml..hmm..
finally can rest for awhile liaox..dun have to look after eu le..let him do it..
becos i am really wearing out..dun worry.i am still hanging on string..haha..
eu arh..really haven seen u miss some one so much..and so happy at times..rmb to tc kies..
hmm..abt the camp..will do more follow up widd ya..but need you to tell me wat u wan..
give u the time table asap lo..give me some info bahx..waa..really starting to read ur mind liaos.. today got shocked..lol~noeing eu for 3 years have been realy great..hope it carries on..
the more i quarrel widd eu the more i noe abt eu..how nice..haha..hmm..
kinda still feel u will be better to be my meimei bahx..u need more help then me..lol~
and pls..train ur standing broad jump..u really need to jump further..
use the techiqnic i taught u..it works..really..well..end here first..write more tml i guess=)
miss him more kies..whahaha..jus wanna see u have a smile everyday=)

[to the one i have dinner widd all the time since they left..]
heys..dinner is really nice=) thanks for the testi wor..haha..
hmpft..true lah.jus starting to have some fun b4 they are backk..but well..
SO or SA? haha..i wan the FC instead..SO and SA are to exx..no $$ le=(
ask daddy and the rest along bahx..since they coming back tml..maybe meet up on sat..hehes
hmm..whole aug u wun be ard le..no one to bully liaox=( dun think they will be coming to club too..
needa catch up wat they missed for 2 weeks..ah wells.i knew things will be diff after they leave..
hmm..perharps fate really cannot me changed..well..
end here first..dunno what to rite liaox..lol~ smiles..

[to the one who accompany me all the time since they left=)]
hey korkor=)they coming back tml ler..eu no longer lonely le bahx..haha..
can be flying on sat liaox..hmm..hows ur finger liao..not pain le hor..lol~yao xiao xin kies..
hmm..bowling is fun lah..haha..next time go again..will try not to be "cleaner" and "make holes"..
dun wanna get chase out..lol~ we go try out the new FC soon..ask daddy mommy and some other ppl along=)the place looks really nice lah..hope the food is nice too=)
well..cya tml kies..maybe pei ni go for dinner.see how bahx..ask mommy first..=)
have a great day in sch! take care~

[to the one i always say is biased..]
daddy~u coming back liaox..happy lerhx..haha..cos dun have to look after mom lo..hehes..
reurn her to eu..ah well.noe u haben been looking at my blog..cos spain no internet connection..
not sure too.mommy told me de..hmm..
while eu are away did plenty of thinkings lah..found out what u said really make sense..thankew=)
when i am sad u will be the one consoling me..thanks wor..haha..
bu yao dan xin wo le..told u i will change and i will de..i will cherish things now deeper..
but u really hor..very bias lehx..never reply my sms de=( u noe i very worried mahx..
hmpft..nvm.. i fogive u..
hmm..but u dun dun reply mommy kies..she very sad de..and will be worry..bu ke yi qi fu ta hor!
and u better take care hor..and study hard..exams coming liaox,,bu yao zai wan ler=)
dun wanna see u waste half a year..end here le..bye~take care!=)

end here first..will blog more tml=)
*ximin
~i misses u and i really do..got so much to say but i jus dunno how to put it across.. take care ya.=)

2006-07-22T22:33:00.000+08:00

went dinner widd korkor today=)

haha..had a nice day i guess..
spent my day in club..actually got practical test..as usaul i didnt go..cos i wasnt in the mood at all..
well..things went on as usual bahx..not too bad..jus feeling very empty ard..
things are jus diff w/o them ard in club..things changes i guess..
-
i changed too..to a total diff me..no longer like b4..no more being wilful..
no more being silly and doing wrong things at wrong time..
no more brooding over things i shouldnt already..
trying to smile as much as i can..keeping myself happie..
meeting out frens when i can amap..jus love the time spent out than home..
and many more bahx..
-
had dinner widd kevin kor and tengda for the past two days..
had plenty of fun..but widd them time really flew by very quickly..
time spent is nv enuff=( i wan more dinner out!=P
hmm..heres some notes bahx..to ppl i hang ard lately..
-
[to the one who always buy and go dinner widd me]
heys!!thanks for dinner these few weeks..haha..had fun lahx=)
after next week wun be seeing u tt often le=( means no more dinner out liaox=(
ah well..when u come back we'll go have dinner again kies..thats a promise=)
u arhs..dun keep spending kies..rmb to save up too..haha..
feel so sorry to make u pay for me all the time..will pay u back asap de=)
u faster coma back kies..pei wo wan=Xhaha..then i can throw ur hp ard again=X
take care!=)
-
[to the one who accompany me all the time since they left=)]
heys korkor!=)..dinner these few days have been great lahx=)
you really eat very lil nehx..lol~eat more kies=)
these few days spent have been great! enjoyed the moments we played tgt..lol!
always liddat bully you vey bad hor..but zhen de hen hao wan mahx..
lol~i am such a notti meimei hor..i wun do it liaox..dun be agry kies=)
hmm..will we stillbe having dinner as usual after next week..he wun be ard le lehx=(
things changes even if its only 1 ppl..so sians=( i wan more dinner out!
we'll ask mommy instead=)hmm..u arhs..rmb to take care kies..dun play too hard!=)
-
[to the one i always have loggerhead widd]
hey mom! ni bu yao sheng qi or sad le kies..i will help u build back those things de..
besides u shld be kinda ahppy bahx..daddy coming back liaox=)
3 days more..somehow i dun look forward to tt day..but..really hope u will go widd me..
we go fetch them lahx..will feel v bad lehx.. oso not sure how u feelin now..
jus hopeu happy lahx..abt the fear..theres nth to fear abt girl! i be there widd yea..
i have fears too..we'll overcome it tgt kies..go on wed hao mahx=)
and..these two weeks luckily got u man..if now i will be so so bored out..
things w/o them is really different..ah well.they be back soon=)
u take care abt ur hand kies..becareful! if not daddy will be very sad derhx..
hmm..take care kies..jus hope to see ya on wed..i sure dad wanna see ya too..
-
[to the one i say is biased all the time]
hey dad..dunno u got read my blog de mahx..hated u when u dun reply my msges..
so mean can=( sms u dun reply..chat u online oso dun reply..
i will be worried de lehx..arh wells..what can i do..mommy more impt mahx..hais..
u arhs..dun forget to reply her sms kies..can forget mine but not hers..
she will be so worried de..got time jiu sms her bahx..
make her happy most impt liaox..ever since she noes u..she have been really happy..
i can sense it lahx=)xiexie ni make her happy=)happy for her=)
treat her well kies..if not wo bu rao ni..=X take care dad..smiles!
-

end here first..too tired to blog today~
*ximin
~the more i try fogetting u the more i miss eu..seriously i do miss u..in fact..its lots..=(

2006-07-19T19:09:00.000+08:00

hmm..back from a long and tiring day again..
slept kinda late ytd nite..was doing chinese project till abt 2 plus..
worse thing was to be woken up by nightmares at 5 plus in the morning..
then i couldnt sleep liaox..kinda weird today..i didnt sleep in class today..nope..not at all..
dun even feel a little tired..haax *proud*=X
-
got back my physics test paper today..i tot i failed lahx..cos i didnt study AT ALL..was shocked to have passed..haha..got 15/20..happie bahx..lol~
-
things went on as usual..boring lessons all the way till 2.15-.-
than had cca..nth much also..only began to build a plastic plane..
something which i hate abt it is the edges..so difficult to cut lo..then cannot sand also..=(
haha..i and mommy got the same design..its so cute can..lol~super small de wing..
i dun intend to fly it anw..too nice liaox=)
hmm..after cca went to 888 widd mommy to buy some stuff..
in the end went back empty handed cos they ran out of stock..-.-
-
talk alot widd mommy today..always feel great talking to her..
funny thing is we can talk for very long but never finish de..lol~
talking to her always made me rmb alot of things..and she is really good lahx..
always noe things faster than me..maybe because she got more caring frens than i do..
hmm..not fair rite..hmfpt..but indeed..
she really very caring lahx..jus tt abit too soft liaox..not me like so fierce..lol~
heres something for eu=)

[mommy]
weis..sorry to make you angry all the time..but..its really fun in some sense..haha..
hmm..i am still to wilful lahx..bleahx..a point to change..haha..
hope u didnt got shocked by my sms just now..but tts really how i felt lahx..
not tt i thinking very negetively..jus tt i dun put high hopes on it..i dun dare to..
but no matter what..will stay happy=) eu arhs..take care can..
dun always make daddy worry..kinda good now though..dun have to take care of u liaox..
haha..got daddy ard..how good..quickly tel him abt "it" kies=)..need help ask me=) hahaha..mommy yi ding yao xing fu o! dun worry too much too..
wednesday coming liaox..jus a week ahead..i dun feel as enthu as u lehx..
not really looking forward for tt day to come..maybe i am..i dunno~
no matter what..take care kies=)bu yao dan xin wo..wo mei shi le=)
-
[daddy]
oso dunno u got read my blogg de mahx..so busy lately..
hope u have been doing fine in spain..
daddy kuai dian hui lai..pei mommy..lol~haha..and~i want my movie and my bear!
and u arhs..ur hand hao le mahx..must be careful hor..dun let it get infected=)
andd~i dun wanna sms u anymore..always no reply de..make me so worried abt u..tsk..
where got this kinda daddy de..hmfpt..bu yao ni le lahx..u got mommy can liaox..
u arhs..dun even think of bullying her kies..wo rang ni hao kan..=X
anw..take care wor..and help me take good care of her=)heehees..
-

think i end here bahx..
buhbye~
*ximin
`school tml=( dun wanna go to school~

2006-07-17T21:13:00.000+08:00

i am really really tired out now..super tired..i got no idea what to do..ah well..
-
days have been packed with diff thing each day..school is as tiring as usual..
although i can see others working even harder than me..i feel really left out in life..
friends have been neglected one by one..i am leaving things behind me..
living in a world of tiredness..a world of boredom..
-
i really couldnt be the ximin that i used to be..i miss it alot..but..
things jus arent going in the way i wanted it too..its fated lahx..
i am trying my best to keep my friends ard me happy..making sure that they arent left out..
but i am still missing out things here and there..and i hate it lah..
in the end i am the one being left out..
jus starting to hate this life i am going true..i hate myself too..
well..this describe well abt me now:
-

Are you stuck inside a world you hate?
Are you sick of everyone around?
With their big fake smiles and stupid lies
While deep inside you're bleeding

No you don't know what it's like
When nothing feels alright
You don't know what it's like
To be like me 
-

i really miss the happie times i had last time..the laughter i had in my mind all the time..
the seemed to have vanished..i am no longer happy now..maybe i am sometimes..
but i just hate to be alone..i noe i have to sometimes..just dun like the feeling of getting left behind..
i jus cant be perfect like u guys wan me to be..i trying my best already..but it dun work lah..
what to do..hmmm..no one will understand.no one will..
-
time rally flies bahx..a few more days daddy will be back from spain alrdy..abt 8 days more..
i really miss him alot..hope he comes back soon..really have so much to say..
hope things will be the same when they comes back..
-
[daddy]
hmm..so long never talk to you liaox..hope u have been doing fine in spain..ur hand injured le..
mus take care of it kies..and rest well arhs..dun make mommy and me worried sick abt u..
faster come back from spain kies..then pei wo go out buy things again=)
will ask mommy along de..haha..u have been the best daddy ever le..always there for me..
you wo zhe zhong wan pi de nu er..mus be very tiring hor..haha..
promise to be ur guai nu er and i will do it de lahx..wun be so naive and wilful liaox..=)takecare ahs!
-
[mommy]
heys..spending days in school widd u have been really great lahx..
although mommy sometimes very naggy..but i appreciate it lots..
i jus love the time i quarrel widd u over lil things..=Xopps..haha..
u have been a great mommy lahx..=)
u arhs..dun miss daddy too much le kies..i noe how u feel..it applies to me too kies..
dun worry lah..they will be back in 8 days 17 hours..lol~..hmm..wanna go ps again..
i saw sth i wanna buy le..meet up soon kies..and take care!=)will be a nicer nu er from now on..=X
-
[kevin korkor]
dunno u will be reading this mahx..but still..
days spent widd ya ard is really nice lahx=)u have been a very great korkor..
i noe i very notti..always bully u..but its fun=X opps..hehe..
go out dinner widd mommy and daddy more often kies..wait for daddy to come back=)
and u arhs..ur back still pain mahx..next time becareful can..dun play till injured..
take care arhs kor=)
-

end here first..will update more tml bahx..if i got time..=)
buhbye..
*ximin
~[::.*reality hurts*.::]

2006-07-16T01:20:00.000+08:00

back to update lerhx..

now its abt 1.20 in the morning..too bored le..so decided to blogg..

went to club today..cos really got no idea where to go..its like so sian..
club today is so not rite bahx..very quiet..i feel so lost there lor..sians..
help kevin widd his fuselage and wing today..besides tt helped out a lil at ou..
its really boring helping out widd ou..maybe because its basics drill..what to do lehx..hais..

hmm..nth special happen today too..jus slacking the whole day..
my mind is so empty today lor..i miss daddy alot..i miss him alot..
i miss alot of things that happen long time ago..i noe i shldnt broad over it..
but couldnt help it bahx..i really miss them soo much!jus wanna sms them all the time..
but jus couldnt do it..=( needs courage bahx..i oso dunno lehx..

hmmm..had dinner widd :
mommy,korkor[kevin],tengda and mr yap..had ichiban sushi at plaza sing..
then went swensen for icecream~ its really nice lor=) talk alot laugh alot..now very tied out=( waiting for daddy to come online..so many things to say to him!
haha..maybe i miss him too much liaox..lol~

hmm..basically oso nth much lahx..jus super bored and tired..i miss daddy and him alot..
i really really do lahx..although i noe they wun miss me..
`i miss the times talking to them on msn all the time..
`i miss the time we smsed each other in class..
`i also miss the time i spent widd them in club..
having dinner tgt..and many more!

went pass alot of place today..and rmb many happy and also sad memories..
wasnt being myself today..feeling very sick these few days bahx..
`didnt get enuff sleep..
`couldnt concentrade in things well..
`my leg hurts..
`my backbone hurts..
`i couldnt find a single soul to confide myself to..
`i miss ppls=(

hmm..end here first..kinda no mood to type now..
buhbye~
*ximin
~i am tired~i miss daddy..i miss eu=(

2006-07-13T16:26:00.000+08:00

back to update lerhx=)

went to send grandpa,daddies[jh,ch],kor[yq],jiewei,larry,daniel,jookiah,chris,nadiah and mr wong off ytd..was so sad lo..cannot see them for 14 days=( miss them so so much now..they jus arrived in spain..ytd was so embarrassing for me=X couldnt control my tears..haha..stopped after awhile bahx..but was still kinda sad lo...life is so diff w/o them lahx..as in:

`no one to sms in class alrdy
`wun be getting to see them online like normal days
`no one ard in club on sat and sundays
`no one to go out widd me during the weekdays to buy things..
etc~

hadd dinner widd some off them before they left..and i guess chatted alot than before..as if they are not coming back..but no..not true..they will be back=) jus the matter of time..
hmm..things are really different bahx..i seriously miss them alrdy..hais..be looking forward for their return=)wun be very long bahx..abt 310 hours more..which is abt 13 plus days=) so longg..hope time goes by faster=)heehees..

hmmm..got back my bio test result..expected to get 5/30 de..cos i wasnt in class during bio class..but guess what..i got 12.5/30..not tt good too..but better than expected=X
haha..still didnt get e chapter yet.couldnt understand at all..needa go study on my own for tt..cos we are on a new chapter alrdy..its really fast lor..=(

school have been really really boring lahx..classes kinda draggy..lesson per period v long=(
maybe i not use to it bahx..still in holiday mood mahx=) but cannot slack too much lerhx..cos exams coming in a few weeks time..must catch up widd work..

i think i end here first..not the mood to blog yet..i miss them so so much=( looking forward for 26 july=)
buhbye~
*ximin
-310 hrs more and they will be back..
`kuai dian hui lai..wo hao xiang nian ni..=(

2006-07-06T19:23:00.000+08:00

back to update~

time really flies..not awhile a week is almost over..
kinda sad to see each day passing by..ah well..
its jus part and parcel of life..even so..i hate it=(

hmm..school has been as tiring as usual..classes have been okie..but kinda boring..
doing the same thing in class everyday is jus..boring..hmm..
still hanging on well..sitting with huiyun is really nice..she is so smart lor..
anything also can ask her..i am so blessed lah=) she always encouring me to study hard..
like telling me''..class going to be over soon..hang on..''
it really encourages me to continue studying hard..paying attention in class w/o fail..

its thursday already..left with 6 days to spent widd daddy and frens..really sad abt it..
i hate each passing day..things will be soo different after they leave..
i cant bear to see them go spain..after they leave means:
-no one to sms to when i am bored in class..
no one to talk to on msn at night..
no one ard in club..

~life since than will be sooo different lahx..i hate it and i really do..~

hmm..this few days got the urge to go running..but still i didnt went..cos couldnt find anyone along..anyone wanna go running ask me along kies..will be much appreciated..=)
and also..i wanna catch a movie..but no one seems to be free these few days..
maybe a few weeks later..hope to do so much things..but its never being fufilled..anw..

it doesnt matter much..last but not least..i wanna go stargazing!having more and more things to be thought.the best way since young is still going stargazing..ah well~

hmm..dun feel like blogging too much today..no inspiration to write abt anything..will pdate when i feel like to..
buhbye~
*ximin
~wanna go catch a movie..go stargazing..

~have so much to say..but i just dunno how to put across..

2006-07-03T18:59:00.000+08:00

hey guys..

back to update..
hmm..stuck in the house for the whole day..so boring lah..spent my day doing some homework..overdued homework..haven finish yet...
its like never finish homework lahx..
can only balme myself for not doing it during the holidays..ah well..

wanted to go running today..but dunno who to call..
surppose to meet mommy[brenda] de..but in the end oso never go..
so sian..running have always been the best choice for me to de stress..
it dun always work..but at least make me feel better..
will jus push myself off limits and go over it..doesnt matter if i get tired out or strain..
jus wanna feel better..running is jus fun although my running sucks..

so stressed up today lah..no idea why but suddenly alot of things came into my mind..
hope to be able to go running or star gazing to sort all these things off my mind..
its like theres alot to sort but just dunno where to start from..
hmm..maybe i just need time=)

kinda miss alot of things after school starts..hmmm..
-i miss my friends around me..been neglecting them alot..
-i miss all my sisters..
-i miss my kors and jies..haven been catching up widd them for so long..
-i miss the time going out with friends to buy stuffs..have dinner..
-i miss daddy and mommy..haha..although i jus saw them ytd..
-i miss being myself..
~and theres more to come..dun wanna list them all out..[okie..i am kinda lame here..but i seriously miss u guys out there=( ]

hmm..missing out thing is something i hated the most..
i feel i am jus bad in time management.. seriously haven been myself for a long time already..
i am like being a diff person ever since holiday started..i am not ximin anymore..
haven been truely smiling ever since holiday started..
i dunno whats wrong but i jus couldnt make myself happy like b4..
haha..maybe happy go lucky is not working anymore..
its time to work hard!=)

end here first...will write more tml i guess..i wanna go running!
buhbyee~
*ximinn
~i wanna go running!i wanna go star gazing! anyone interested? heehees=)

~have so much to say..but i just dunno how to put across..

2006-07-02T23:30:00.000+08:00

hey guys..

back to update abit abt life..hmmm..

saturday:
had a long day in club ytd..cant rmb wat i did..
but was really really tired out when i got home..and yeah..
had dinner out ytd=) went dnner with grandpa[me richard] and his family,mr david''s family,daddy[jinheng],kevin and tengda..
had alot of fun widd them..ate double portion and was really really bloated..
thanks kevin..haha..[i volunteered to finish up his food..]=X

went to work after that..only for an hour..
but kinda hav some fun..haha..talk to my dad alot..
its a long time since i did that..was glad lahx=)

today[sunday]:
went to club today for closing ceremony..helped out as lap counter in the coms and fun flys..
and indeed learnt alot of new stuffs today..everything ended at abt 6 plus..
sat around in the flying circle talking abt wc..the sky grew dark and stars came popping out one by one..meanwhile they were still deciding where to have dinner..
made used of the time thinking abt some stuffs..but in the end didnt sort out anything..i am bombarded with alot of problems and questions..so tireed out now..

anw~
went for dinner with grandpa[me richard] and his kids,daddy[jinheng],mommy[brenda],keting,mr yap,tengda,ebi,jookiah,kevin and daniel at north point "thai chinese resturant''..the fod is so spicy but its really really v nice=)
thankew grandpa for dinner..i really had lotsa fun..heehees..thanks guys=)

these few days is really never ending fun and joy..although sometimes its really tiring..
but its the fun and experiance that counts..not the tiredness..totally tired mentally and physically lahx..had a long day today..was filled with things the whole day..
didnt really concentrade on the things i need to..really wanna go star-gazing again soon..
have so much things to be sorted outta my mind..jus hope i have more time..ahs well

end here first..update more tml..v tired..
buhbyee~
*ximin
~wanna spent every single time i have fruitfully and let it be changed into memories in my life..

~have so much to say..but i just dunno how to put across..need time..

2006-07-01T23:14:00.000+08:00

Love - isn't how much you can get, but how much can give; it's not about giving up,
but holding on; not about how say, 'I love u but how you show it's true.
It is something far more precious, but something far more fragile.
Hold on to it too tightly and it will crumble in your fingers.
Hold it too loosely and the wind might blow it away and shatter it on the cold ground.

If love someone, let them go.
If they return to you , it was meant to be.
If they don't, their love was never yours to begin with.

It may take a second to have a crush..
It may take a minute to like..
It may take a hour to fall in love..
But it takes forever to love and care for the one tat truely belongs to u....

True Love Cannot Be Found Where It Truly Does Not Exist....
Nor Can It Be Hidden Where It Truly Does Exist...

True love is found when we decide on laying down our dignity and pride for our love one. Staying true even though if he or she is the one that doubt us and our intentions.
Leaving all ill intentions behind and love whole heartedly.

*ximin
~Saying " Sorry" is meaningless after the pain is inflicted...
What for say sorry when we could have prevented things from happening..

2006-06-30T20:47:00.000+08:00

hey guys..

back to update..
had ne survival camp ytd..was quite okie lahx..jus v sian and slack..things move on so slowly..although there was fun here and there..but still..i wasnt feeling right ytd..keep having the feeling of emptyness in my heart..somethings jus dun seem to be right..but i couldnt figure it out..

thursday ended at 1am..after all the briefing and stuffs..
went star gazing with brenda at e fitness corner..the sky was lovely..
lotsa stars..so far its the second best i ever saw=)
did alot of thinking while star gazing..i jus love the feeling of being under the dark night sky..
the best time to sort things out in the mind..did quite alot of thinking ytd..
but still haven finish sorting out yet=(still have a lil here and there lo..trying my best alrdy..

been feeling kinda weird these few days..i dunno why..
jus feeling that i am not myself anymore..
i couldnt make myself happy even for awhile..i may look happy and stuffs..
but i am not lahx..sorrie to say that..but i really really not happy at all..
wasnt in the mood i guess..but seriously..i hate the feeling=(
i hated the life of sadness and darkness..hope to get out of it soon..
i dun wanna brood over the past anymore..but neither do i wanna look foward for the future..
jus wanna live everyday to the fullest..being happy and do thing w/o regrets..

have been living in 14 years of regretfulness..and i wanna leave it..have a brand new life..start all over again..jus wanna have a simple life=)

anw..

got my specs already=) its really nice..but i dun have to wear it often..
only during lesson and watching movies..=) hope i can get to wear it soon..
i think i look nice in it..maybe not...but well..
hmmm..been missing outa lot of stuff here and there..i am not sure too..
but i just having the feeling of being left out alone..
no longer having alot of frens around caring for me..i cant even feel my family warmth already..maybe i am used to the life of being alone..left out..and whatever more..
i duunno..i jus miss my friends..daddy and kors..mommy and jiejies..
ni men dao di zai na li..=(

hmmm..i guess i have more things to sort out now..gtg soon~
buhbye~
*ximin
~star-gazing jus rocks my life..
~have so much to say..but i just dunno how to put across....

2006-06-27T20:43:00.000+08:00

hey guys..

its only the second day of school and i am dreading it alrdy..haven get out of holiday mood yet.. still feeling very crappy and tired..jus getting super tired out mentally and spiritually..still trying very hard to hang on and survive all the way through eoy..=(

school have been okie today..still dun really understand maths lesson..jus so chim..but trying hard to understand alrdy..theres common test every friday for maths after this week..needa study alot lerx.. cca for thursday have oso been move to friday..my favourite weekday=(
dun really like the new timetable..lesson is so long..but the good thing is that dun have to bring so many books to school..

cant wait for thursay..wanna get my new specs..haha..then i dun have to strain my eyes to see things alrdy..but e sad thing is i have lost my perfect eyesight=( and i think the specs is not nice..specs jus dun fit me i guess..see how things goes bahx..=)

starting to miss the days in club lerhx..i miss korkor..i miss dadd..and i miss everyone in club=( jus miss all the fun and laughter we had during camps and trainings..and the fun we have tgt..cant wait for oct,nov and dec to come..then can play and play lerhx..daddy wo hao xiang ni arhs..miss the time u disturb and bully me and the times trying hard to make me smile..haha..dui bu qi..bu shi gu yi de..zhi shi yi shi tan wan..will change my wilful behaviour derx..=)

having school tml..sians..hope class will be fun tml..if not i surely fall asleep..craps..better slp early tonite so i wun fall asleep lehx..later teacher scold again=P hmm..though school is boring and sleepy and slacky..i jus love the time i spent with brenda they all..all so happening and funny..although we quarrell alot..but its really fun lahx..haha..

better end here first..getting v naggy..hehe,,update my life again soon..
buhbye guys=)
*ximinn
~daddy..i wanna go watch movie with you and others again..
i miss the fun and laughter we had!=( and i hate to see you go..
cya soon hor..take care!

~have so much to say..but i just dunno how to put across..

2006-06-26T17:07:00.000+08:00

hey guys..

jus finish doing some homework..so decided to blog

okie..school today is really really boring..i jus dreaded to go school sometimes..jus not ready for it yet..okie..maybe like what you say.."jus listen to the lecture and 1 day is over"..
did nothing i school today..had home period till 1045?so boring..had new sitting plan..will be sitting beside huiyun..crap..i really afraid that i will pull down her marks lah..hope not..will try not to talk in class..Must PAY ATTENTION..yupps..
had a period of lit today..nearly fell asleep cos i was really really tired out..but didnt..was carefully listening to what he was trying to say..i am not going to fail lit again..its a no no..must pass..

school ended at 145 today...waited for brenda till abt 2 and went cwp to get some stuffs..
hey girl if you are reading..heres something for you..
thanks for being around in my times of need lah..sorrie for throwing my temper at you during the holidays..but i was really stressed out and couldnt control my self..i am sorrie kies..and wanna thankew for teaching me so much..haha..i guess i really cant do well w/o having you around..i am really amzed by all the things you knew lah..teach me more next time kies :D
oso wanna thankew for being so encouraging..haha..got so much more to tell you..but not here..hmm..talk to you soon alrites:)

been really tired out by things happening around me..haven been myself lahx..jus feeling v left out no matter what i do..its like nothing is going in the way i wanted..and i just getting v tired out..just feeling very very burdened down..although i know that daddy and frens are always there for me..i jus cant bear to give them a call or sms to tell them my feelings..or maybe even on msn..i jus dread it..i got no idea why but i just dun dare to do so becos i am afraid to be giving them my burden or troubles..i feel really bad sometimes to reject their help..but i really didnt mean to do so..i'm sorry..

geting wear off mentally and physically..thoughs have been coming in and out of my mind..its like never ending kinda thing..and seriously i dread this kind of feelings..jus make me more unmotivated..theres always alot of things i wanna tell ppl but whenever i want too..it jus stuck at the throat and never come out..

will end here first..blog more tonite..
buhbyee..
~ximin
*have so much to tell you..but i jus dunno how to put it across..:(

2006-06-25T20:48:00.000+08:00

hey guys=)

aww..tml school reopen lerhx..i always dread the first day of school lahx..its so tiring..needa get use to waking up at 6.30 again..
haven finish all my homework yet..i am so dead lahx..will try to chiong all my homework and finish it by friday..wanna finish all my work and catch up widd others..

wishes for next semester:
-pass all class tests and common tests
-pass my maths
-do well for all sub..must pass!
-finish all homework on time
-be more discipline
-more time spent with friends even though its not holidays..=D
-change into a total diff person..

hope i will fufil it..
these few weeks have been slacking alot alot lahx..and my attitude totally s***..
i wanna change..change to a better person..no longer the ximin during june holiday..
not the ximin i used to be..but better..no longer getting angry over small stuffs..
jus wanna be more discipline..and be less hot tempered more patience..
promise daddy i will do it and i definitely will..
these few weeks of holiday have really struck me hard..it have shown me what kinda person i am and frm there i will improve..really hope it works lahx..
i dun like the attitude i have now..so slack and s****..
jus wanna be a person i wanna be..

hmmm..as school stars tml..really hope i will make it to sec 4 sia..
i dun wanna drop or retain..regretted playing so much..craps..
my lousy results have woke me up..hope e wishes i made will come true..hmmm..
really hopes tt its not too late now..

really wanna change..wanna be unique..no longer the ximin i am..but a better one..
less hot tempered and more patience abt things..dun wanna lose my friends like b4..

gtg guys..buhbye!
~ximin
*jus wanna be a better me.

2006-06-23T23:01:00.000+08:00

hey guys..

been out the whole day today..feel so shacked and totally tired out..hais..

well..had a long day today..
went to funan mall with:daddy[jinheng n choonhuat],jiewei,jookiah, nadiah ,korkor[yongqiang],larry and brenda..things there are all computer stuffs..
saw them all looking for their things..feel so left out..
but had fun here and there bahx..not sure too..jus rmb myself walking ard like a swagu..
dunno what is what..hmmm..then went dinner with daddy[jinheng],jiewei and brenda at macdonald's..daddy mad lerhx..eat salt like what sia..put so much in hte fries and burger..haha..was laughing away while seeing him eat..so funny..

having wings and aviation prize giving ceremony tml..meaning that club wun be open till noon..still thinking what to do from 9-1..needa leave hse at 9 b4 my mommy locks me at home..hmmm..any idea what shld i do during that 4 hrs plus..
so quickly..holidays are only left with 2 days only..haven started doing my homework yet..
not dun wan to do..is dunno where to start from..there like so many of them lor..
sians..maybe chiong them out next week..since submission date is first week..haha..
hmmm..been slacking away for 1 mth le..

for these few weeks of holiday..i have been doing nth but slacking bahx..
everyday go club or go work..now so sian alrdy..
but looking at the time fly pass and 2 more days school will be starting..
i feel so wasted lahx..hais..these few weeks have been really really tiring lahx..
not enuff sleep..feeling so shack and wear off during holidays..
dunno how i am going to survive from next week onwards..
i am really not ready to go back yet..
and thinking that daddy and guys are going to spain i feel even more slacky..
if they go means all my motivation will be off for 2 weeks..i be so dead lahx..
i sure will miss daddy they all de..i wanna go too lahx..so sians..
i wanna go for a vacation soon..wanna leave this fast going country for awhile..
dun wanna be so tired out anymore..

zhi xi wang you yi ge ren hui zai shen bian pei wo yi qi zou..
pei wo yi qi du guo yi qie nan guan..hmm..these will never happen lahx..
[although i really hopes it happens..]
hmmm..wanna finish building my line dancer and fly..feel like building sotong sia..
wanna fly speed and leave stunt for awhile..wanna be lazy for a while..hehes..
hope to find my motivation soon..falling apart soon..hope to hang on till eoy is over..
but dun think i can make it lerhx..no matter what.."ximin..jiayou!"

better end here first..needa rest for while..
buhbye guys..
~ximin
*zhi xi wang ke yi zai ni shen bian zhao gu ni..he ni zai yi qi yi pei zi..=X

2006-06-20T23:14:00.000+08:00

hey guys..

back to update again..hmmm..
dun really like todays weather..keep rainning and rainning..make me feel so cold..had headache for the whole day today..hao nan guo..but no one noes..haha..didn say out..hmm..

met daddy[jinheng] today..haha..he rush down to club after fininshing his work..oso not sure he got finish mahx..hmm..only noe..daddy ni hao hao wor..=) played alot today..now so tired out..

been feeling left out and tired out for the past weeks and even till now..
oso not sure why..although i can sense that my frens care for me and be there for me..
something is jus missing..and i realy cant figure it out..even till now..
been broading over it for a long time alrdy..been trying my best not to think about it..
but sometimes it just cant be helped..
for weeks i have been realy tired out..i dun look like it..but i really am..hmmm..
still hanging on..i keep haing a strange strange feeling which i cant explain..
been really down and moody for quite sometime..
sorrie guys for that but really cant help it bahx..i jus feel..different sometimes frm u guys..
even though we may be going through the same things..
hmmm..i jus dun understand bahx..my motivation have been dropping lower and lower.. although my interest in aeomodelling has increased alot..but still..hais

feeling lost..tired..these feeling jus come to me again and again non stop..
if it continues i really dunno what to do le..hmm..
daddy and guys moving off to world champ really soon..got llike no to time to pei them lerx..
will be bored to death for 15 straight days lah..how i hope the dun have to go..anw..
it will not happen..hais..hmmm..although its only 15 days..
each day to me will be like a year..seriously..

having compeition again tml..i may only be a helper..
but i really learnt alot throughout the process..hmmm..hope it wun rain tml sia..
today rain half day le..nearly fall sick..

better end here for today bahx..will post soon..
buhbyee guys~
*ximin
~really tired out le..cant imagine when school reopens..=( hais..jus need more motivation..

2006-06-20T00:22:00.000+08:00

hey guys...

had quite a long day today..went out with my frens today..had a happy day..
went out with daddy[jinheng],panda[brenda],jiewei and jookiah today..went to town..wanted to go shopping..but in the end went watch movie..wanted to watch silent hill..bought the tickets liao..happily wanna go in tt time then realised the show is nc16..didn manage to smuggle in..so went to chnage tickets..went to watch the omens instead..the show is so horrifying and sad..nearly cried..luckily i didnt..

watch finish omens jookiah went off to nbss..left the rest of us there..wanted to go walk walk but couldnt decide where to go..so went to watch another movie..haha..watch cars..its really funny lor..anw..had dinner at ljs after tt..was shivering after drinking the cold cold coke..hmm..went to walk around after dinner..

surppose to go work de..but in the end change my mind..jus not in the mood..and i couldnt let myself to leave my friends..lied to mommy today..feel so bad until now lah..argg..but if i were to tell her the truth she will ban me from going out le..feel so guilty..=(

hmmm..tml having com le..going as helper again..frens around me shld noe i always hated to participate in coms..so cannot blame me..hmm..jus realised..after since i hab my holidays..i haven been sleeping earlier than 1 plus 2..and waking up later then 9..hais..really hope to be able to have a long hour of sleep..haha..

hmm..today shld stop here first..really tired out after bring out for the whole days..will blog soon..
buhbyee guys..
~xiimin
*wanna watch a movie with you again..really

2006-06-18T23:45:00.000+08:00

hey guys..

here to update again..went for cca today..saw ppl fly and stuff..learn plenty of things..basically had some fun..same time was super tired out le..its like i haven get enuff sleep for how long..hias..my holiday os not like holidays..it just flew by in a blink..but really had lots of laughter..joy..and same time sorrow and sadness..was so stressed up for the past few weeks..so much things happen bahx..

hmm..abt todays com..oso dunno how to starts..some ppl reading my blog may not be interested.so i wun be blogging in details..hmm..had lotsa fun=)..thats tt point bahx..seems to me tt my interest in aeromodelling has increased alot alot..if not i will be last last time..hack care liaox..haha..this time round wun..will seriously make a decision where i wanna go..F2b or F2c lehx..really dunno lehx..hais..hmmm..

crappy thing is..till now..i haven started on my homewok yet!done only 2 so far..will finish de..better finish..hais..jus worried abt my maths..i dunno what to do le sia..mid yr get like 30 plus?end of yr how to pass sia..hais..i not worried abt any of my subs..only my maths..

no maths = hello NA..bye EXPRESS..

i dun wanna drop sia..really regretted..hais..this time round i not joking le..seriously wanna wanna do well for all my subs..that means..
-cannot spent too much time learning generals..
-cannot play too much computer..
-more revision..
-need a maths tutor??
-hmm..more remedials..
-study hard..
although i have to motivation to work hard and score well..but have promised my self to do it..and i will..i seriosly dun wanna waste 1 tear in NA..work so hard le..hmm..dunno shld stop going club awhile mahx..but i got so many undone stuffs..will see how..sundays i seriously not sure yet..my parent are..hmmm..not sure yet..
need manage my time properly..dun wanna neglect anythings around me..like
-my friends
-school work
-family
-schoolmates
its like..miss out so much things already..really felt bad now..haven been really be with my frens in times of their trouble times..oh my..theres lots of catching up to do..
anw..

be meeting some good frens tml..going town to buy stuffs..hmm..will blog more next time..
buhbye guys=)
*ximin
~really miss u guys alot..and i mean it..gimi a call kies anytime kies..

2006-06-15T21:55:00.000+08:00

hey guys..

sorrie for not blogging for ages..wasnt in the mood to update and have been very busy lately..haven even been going to church too..sorrie guys..but i really cant make it on sundays..
partly because of my cca and partly oso because of my parents..they have been forbbidding me to go..but nonetheless i will try to come down kies..will meet up with you guys soon..

hmmm..have been busy with my cca for the whole holidays..so busy that i only realised next week is the last week of school holidays le..but i haven done so mch things!
1 : i haven done my holiday homework..
2 : i haven meet up with my friends and go shopping.
3 : i haven go star gazing!
4 : i haven go sunset seeking!
and many more..

have been in camp most of the time..had fun with the girls at least..hmmm..made a no of "new" friends and have learnt alot of new things..camp have indeed been expectedly v boring and tiring..due to lack of sleep and other reasons..but i have felt myslef grew closer to the girls..the feeling is jus different..haha..
time really fies this time round and soon school will reopen..surprisingly for me..this is the fastest holiday i ever experiance..its like phew...3 weeks gone..i haven even had much fun yet.. as in time really flies when you are having fun..but its only than u will cherish the time u have with ya friends..may nt have had lotsa fun..but still enjoyed every single part of the camps i had..

hmm..got to go rush through my holiday homework sooon..haven started doing alot too..really hope i can pick up time to do my work..
hope to have a few more weeks off..have been in deep thinking for the whole month..this never occur to me lah..but still it happened..my friends around me would have realised i am abit not me already..my friends always ask.."a penny in ur thought?care to share??"
but instead of telling them what happened..i would just reject their help and push them away from my life..i noe i am wrong to do that..but sometimes i would think and try not to burden them since they already have their own problems to care about..althought i can feel that they really really care and hope to help..but if i couldnt take it anymore i would cry my hearts out to them and will always get their good advices and opinions..

hais..better stop nagging le..haha..dun wanna get bored out by my posts all the time..
buhbye~
*ximin
~life have been really down for me lately..things jus arent going my way and stuffs..dunno how much longer i can hold out..

totally lost my way~~

2006-05-30T23:10:00.000+08:00

hey guys.. sorry for not blogging for a long long time..have been really down and unmotivated these few weeks..things haven been going on the way i wanted..i got totally no idea whats happening to me too..just feeling unmotivated..

my family have been messy lor..always dun feel like going home..wanna stay out longer..my mommy everyday also nag..got thing or nothing oso nag..then scold scold scold..really cannot take it le..got my results too..not the scores i wanted but expected..things just went wrong somehow..

seeing ppl study hard and got high marks..felt happy for them lor..i have tried my best to concentrade on studying..but its jus not working lor..oso dunno why..ever since exam period started i felt so left out lor..frens dun bother about me..some frens changed[alot]..not the people i know anymore..
always tried to set my heart and mind on study mode but no matter how i read and practise..just cannot remember a thing afterwhile..
see all my friends happily enjoying holidays i feel so weird..feeling very burdened..oso dunno why..just couldnt be happy even for awhile..ya lah..sometimes i do laugh alittle here and there..but not true bahx..just hope that my friends are happy lor..later they will ask why and why..haha..

life now is just going a different way..no longer the days i wanted or had last time..friends left me..parents quarrelled and siblings oso..everyday only noe how to nag at me..never thought of my feelings..as if i wanted things to go on this way..like i wanted my results to be so bad..hais..only can blame myself not working hard enough..feeling kinda stupid now..always asked myself..if i study hard i wun be like that le..if i study hard enough mommy and daddy wun quarrel le..hais..

is it really God's way?is it a plan of His or something..or am i heading the wrong way..i really dunno..all these things always happen to me..bad things keep coming..good things just disappeared somehow..can someone tel me whats going on in my life..going to explode soon..i really dun wan things to continue this way..

been spending alot of time with my family..although all i get back is nagging..
mommy made rice dumplings today..i helped out abit..bought some for ppl in church..about 8..played floorball..that was the happiest moment in so many many days..haven been laughing so much..but after they left..i feel lonelyness covering me agai..no one to talk to..speak to..hais..i am just soo weird..
i just cannot live w/o friends bahx..i really cant..seeing my friends feeling happier with others..i feel weird..i dunno how to describe it..but i will just feel that i am not a good friend to others..instead a burden bahx..i really dunno..

*ximinn
~just feeling left out..umotivated..have lost my way..

2006-05-30T22:59:00.000+08:00

Because of You

by Kelly Clarkson

I will not make the same mistakes that you did 
I will not let myself cause my heart so much misery 
I will not break the way you did 
You fell so hard 
I've learned the hard way, to never let it
get that far 

Because of you 
I never stray too far from the sidewalk 
Because of you 
I learned to play on the safe side
So I don't get hurt 
Because of you 
I find it hard to trust 
Not only me, but everyone around me 
Because of you 
I am afraid 

I lose my way 
And it's not too long before you point it out 
I cannot cry 
Because I know that's weakness in your eyes 
I'm forced to fake, a smile, a laugh
Every day of my life 
My heart can't possibly break 
When it wasn't even whole to start with 

Because of you 
I never stray too far from the sidewalk 
Because of you 
I learned to play on the safe side 
So I don't get hurt 
Because of you 
I find it hard to trust 
Not only me, but everyone around me 
Because of you 
I am afraid 

I watched you die 
I heard you cry
Every night in your sleep 
I was so young 
You should have known better than to lean on me 
You never thought of anyone else 
You just saw your pain 
And now I cry 
In the middle of the night 
For the same damn thing

Because of you 
I never stray too far from the sidewalk 
Because of you 
I learned to play on the safe side 
So I don't get hurt 
Because of you 
I tried my hardest just to forget everything 
Because of you 
I don't know how to let anyone else in 
Because of you 
I'm ashamed of my life because it's empty 
Because of you 
I am afraid 

Because of you
Because of you

----------------------------------------------------------

Reason Enough

by Regine Velasquez

I made myself a promise sometime ago
Never again to give my heart away
I fell in love with someone who left me in the end
The price of love was just so high to pay
I thought my life has ended but you came along
And showed me how much brighter things could be
Now you see I've turned my back on that promise that I made
Knowing that your love has set me free

'Cause you are reason enough for me to go on living
You are reason enough for me to smile again
In a world where hearts are broken every now and then
One finds reason enough to love
Like I found reason enough in you to love again

Here I am all caught up in this new found love
Feeling like I’ve never felt before 
Putting my love on the line with you
And taking a chance again

'Cause you are reason enough for me to go on living
You are reason enough for me to smile again
In a world where hearts are broken every now and then
One finds reason enough to love

'Cause you are reason enough for me to go on living
You are reason enough for me to smile again
In a world where hearts are broken every now and then
One finds reason enough to love
Like I found reason enough in you to love again

In a world where hearts are broken every now and then
One finds reason enough to love
Like I've found reason enough in you to love again
Like I found reason enough in you to love again
I’m not afraid to love anymore

~ximinn
*the el songs i listened for the many many days..

i hate my life!

2006-05-14T22:56:00.000+08:00

~totally lost directions
--------------------------------
hey guys.. its mothers day today..when everyone celebrate the joy of a mom and the whole family spents time tgt..eating dinner..spending time with their mommy.. mine was jus different..so different.. was really hoping to see my sisters to be home and celebbrate with mommy..but none was home..was really upset lah..i quarrelled with my dad ytd over some little stuffs and he didnt allow me to go to church anymore..i broke down lah..i cant live w/o going to church..seeing my friends and cg members..i really cant..i went to church as usual lah..trying to set aside my family for awhile.. went home to pei mommy for dinnerat 6..no one was home except for me and my mommy.. mommy was really upset to see no one home..had dinner with her and things went on well until she came back from coffeeshop to get some stuff..she started scolding me and screaming at me lor..upset that its mothers day when every family having fun celebrating except for ours..my famiy seems to be shattered into many pieces lah..i listen to her scold and started crying lor..was really scared..lost and confused..i really dunno what to do lor..i listened to her..then she jus went to her room lor..i was upset too lah..for not spending enuff time with her..i have been really tired out by all the things going on lah..in school and my family..

i always hated to stay home for the whole day because i think its quite boring..my mom dun understands me..everyday will jus nagg at me..i tried to be patience and jus let her nag lor..as long as shes happy i dun mind..but after while i jus got sick of it..its like school have been really tiring..and always hoped to have some peace at home but i dun lah..she jus dun understand lor..i really dunno what to do..totally lost directions..

for 3 days..my family have been quarrelling over minor stuffs and i really got tired of it..seeing my mom got scolded by my dad..i got no idea what to do..i try to spent time with them but the same thing still happens lah..i really hope they wil stop quarrelling lah..i dun wan them to be upset and angy..i rather be the one suffering..i really dunno lah..jus hope that this will jus go off soon.. got to go le..buhbye.. *ximin ~i really hate my present life..really..i dunno what to do now..jus lost here alone..

why..

2006-05-13T22:41:00.000+08:00

Why
- Nicole Nordeman

We rode into town the other day,
just me and my Daddy.
He said I'd finally reached that age,
and I could ride next to him on a horse
that of course was not quite as wide
We heard a crowd of people shouting
and so we stopped to find out why
There was that man that my dad said he loved,
but today there was fear in his eyes

So I said Daddy why are they screaming?
Why are the faces of some of them beaming?
Why is he dressed in that bright purple robe?
I bet that crown hurts him
more than he shows
Daddy please can't you do something?
He looks as if he's going to cry
You said he is stronger than all of those guys
Daddy please tell me why,
why does everyone want him to die?

Later that day the sky grew cloudy
and daddy said I should go inside
Somehow he knew things would get stormy,
boy was he right
But I could not keep from wondering
if there was something that he had to hide
So after he left I had to find out,
I was not afraid of getting lost
So I followed the crowds to a hill
where I knew men had been killed
And I heard a voice come from a cross:
And it said:

Father why are they screaming.
Why are the faces of some of them beaming?
Why are they casting their lots for my clothes??
This crown of thorns
hurts me much more than it shows,
Father please can't you do something?
I know that you must hear my cry
I thought I could handle a cross of this size,
Father remind me why,
why does everyone want me to die.
When will I understand why?

My precious Son,
I hear them screaming.
I'm watching the face of the enemy beaming
but soon I will clothe you in robes of my own.
Jesus this hurts me more than you know
But this dark hour I must do nothing.
Though I've heard your unbearable cry
the power in your blood destroys all the lies,
soon you'll see past their unmerciful eyes.
Look there below see the child
trembling by her father's side.
Now I can tell you why,
she is why you must die.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

found this song in my mail..it came tgt with a edited short video extracted from passion of christ and it really struck me hard..

see this website:
http://student.mmu.edu.my/~v3110477/why.html

please guys..Do take a look..knowing that Jesus has died on the cross JUST FOR YOU..

*ximin
~i cried after watching the video..it have made a differance in my life..hope its the same for ya..knowing that Jesus has died on the cross jus for us..

its over~

2006-05-11T21:31:00.000+08:00

heys guys!

finally..examinations are over for most of us..me too! was really glad..but worried as well..
i knew i didnt do well..partly because i couldnt concentrade
..partly because i got super stressed up as many things happened around me and got totally no mood to study..was kinda bad lah..but anw..its over! :)

went out with yongling and frankie ytd:)went to queenstown and holland village..had fun tgt:)
went shopping with yongling whle frankie stayed at mac to do some work.went round and round in the shopping centre..until i felt giddy and all my mind was shoes..clothes..shoe..clothes..haha.but i really had fun..really..then went to had a sit in a shopping mall at queenstown..sat on a bench outside cold storage and ate some stuff..haha..chatted alot..then went home with 961..it was a long 1hour trip because of the overwhelming of cars on the road..and was quite pissed off coz of my mommy..she was kinda unreasonable lahx..anw..i rushed home after reaching cwp..ran home..then i had crumps..haha..until now..lol..

anw..if yongling you are readin this..i wanna tell you that:

hey yongling!!:)**waves**
i really had fun with ya ytd..all the chatting..eating..and shopping is so so fun!its really a long time since i went out with ya and talk to you land i really miss the days we had follow up with limmy!! i just love shopping:) and also thanks for the encouragement on the bus ytd..was really pissed off by mmmy lahx..she is jus so unreasonable:(
xie xie ni!:P [and the sit i was on was also partly because why i felt pissed off..its so stuffy!] haha..long weekends are really great!have fun yea? meanwhile also take care! dun fall sick ya..
*hugs* meet up soon with ya! smile on dear!:)

today is nothing special..spent my day out with my jie and her boyfriend..bought some baking stuff ..then went home..was kinda tired out..went to sembawang then took bus to cwp..went cold storage and went home..was so sian lah..see them so lovey dovey..then also saw alot of couples around us..haha..envy bahx..nahx..hahaha

i better end here le..so naggy today..xP
buhbye guys!
*ximinn
~shopping anyone? over with exam stress now come shopping stress..hahaha

exams

2006-05-08T20:49:00.000+08:00

heys!

haven been blogging..partly because i dun feel like to and partly because i am too busy and tired out..sorry guys..

exams have been getting on my nerves..study and study..write notes..memorise..but nth is remembered..looking at my frens play all day long..still score well..i studied so hard but nth seems to be going my way..whats wrong man..
my mommy have been nagging at me every single day..every single hour..getting on my nerves..i noe she meant well but i jus hate being nagged at..especially when i am trying hard to study..i am really really wearing out..jus feeling very sick and tired..school life..what can i expect

somethings have been happening so quickly around me..well..have been neglecting my parents..siblings and all my frens around me..been really bothered lah..really hope for a day i can study well w/o thoughts..but i really cant..cant concentrade ..always wanna look for someone to speak to..but..second thought i better dun..friends have been working real hard out there for exmas..i shouldnt disturb them..well..haha..JIAYOU guys..a few more days is all over!xD

quite glad actually..thinking that exams is going to over soon..but..after that i have to braod over my results..trust me..i will..i ne i didnt do well this time..aww..anw..its over lah..no point for anything to be done..only wait..wait and wait..mommy will be really heart broken..i promised her i will do well..but..hais..

anw..
had a fruitful day in church ytd!:)
spent some time with sarah mok..had a great time indeed..shopping and talking abt our weeks..sharing the problems faced..didnt really speak to my cg member ytd..felt quite bad..
was quite moody ytd..because of the coming physic today..i did my best liaox..hope i really really can pass..cant afford to fail.but if i really do..i dunno..

and yupps..it was open sunday ytd!:)
my grp members were shun bin..joy..eujin..mingjie..jules..
had fun..haha..didnt played well ytd..but still..we had fun in the grp..talking and playing..
after that i studied awhile in church..until 9.30 i went home..
same thing lor..my mom nagged and nagged..cant be bothered..i didnt spent time with her on sunday..but i did on saturday..

i cleaned my room ytd..was super messy..now still messy..but better..need to clean again on thursay..time for spring cleaning!XD

better end here..:)will blog again soon..try..
buhbye..
*ximinn
~hate my life here w/o your presence..hais..

lolo~

2006-05-03T21:40:00.000+08:00

hey guys~

just had my art exams today..i think i didnt do well..firstly because i didtn fiish my work then i didnt draw nice enough..my art is just horrible..i did my work on tuesday..doing it all the way ito the night at about 3~ ..went to school surprisingly i wasnt tired at all!haha..
[but yes..now i do feel the tiredness]
and unluckily realised i didnt bring my colour pencils!! i called my sister hopeful that she will bring it to school to me..but guess what..she asked me..
"ermms..where's ur school?"..smart rite..in the end i borrowed from my frens in class..

anw..tml i have no class and examsx..a good day for me to do my maths question and study my social studies..hopefully i will do well for my maths :)

was enjoying myself today playing the computer and slacking my day away..but suffered because i had sore throat and my ulcer is killing me..its 3 on the same side..and unfortunately same row..its like children queing up in a row..aww..

stop here for today..will write more soon..
buhbye guys~
*ximinn
~i hate ulcers..they hurts..i cant eat with them!sob sob..

DID YOU EVER TALK TO GOD ABOVE

2006-04-30T22:27:00.000+08:00

Did you ever talk to God above
Tell Him that you need a friend to love
Pray in Jesus' name believing that
God answers prayers

Have you told Him all your cares and woes
Every tiny little fear He knows
You can know He'll always hear and
He will answer prayer

You can whisper in a crowd to Him
You can cry when you're alone to Him
You don't have to pray out loud to Him
He knows your thoughts

On a lofty mountain peak He's there
In a meadow by a stream He's there
Anywhere on earth you go
He's been there from the start

Find the answer in His word, it's true
He'll be there because He walks with you
Pray in Jesus' name believing that
God answers prayer

______________________________

had this song for cg worship today..it speaks to me in between..first time having this kinda of feeling..was leading too for cg worship..didnt got to prepare well because of the exams and school matters..was quite nervous..had a little fun here and there..thankew girls! :)

this song talks to me how great and wonderful God is..its like He is everywhere no matter where you go and what you do and encounter..He is there for you..accompanying you through every difficulty u faced..
though it may be really hard sometimes..but remember that you have God with you and also frens around you walking with you through studies and work!

exams is continuing next week..still kinda tired out..feeling super stressed out bahx..didnt got this kinda strange feelings before..so scary..hais..

anw..Good luck for those having mye..remember that you are not alone! jiayou..the labour will not be in vain! :)press on!
gtg gye..buhbyee~
*ximinn
~Cg rocks!

2006-04-27T19:33:00.000+08:00

my favourtie picture..xD

Reason Enough

by Regine Velasquez

I made myself a promise sometime ago
Never again to give my heart away
I fell in love with someone who left me in the end
The price of love was just so high to pay
I thought my life has ended but you came along
And showed me how much brighter things could be
Now you see I've turned my back on that promise that I made
Knowing that your love has set me free

'Cause you are reason enough for me to go on living
You are reason enough for me to smile again
In a world where hearts are broken every now and then
One finds reason enough to love
Like I found reason enough in you to love again

Here I am all caught up in this new found love
Feeling like I've never felt before
Putting my love on the line with you
And taking a chance again
I'm not afraid to love anymore

'Cause you are reason enough for me to go on living
You are reason enough for me to smile again
In a world where hearts are broken every now and then
One finds reason enough to love
Like I found reason enough in you to love again

'Cause you are reason enough for me to go on living
You are reason enough for me to smile again
In a world where hearts are broken every now and then
One finds reason enough to love
Like I found reason enough in you to love again

In a world where hearts are broken every now and then
One finds reason enough to love
Like I've found reason enough in you to love again

~ximinn
* -

Stay The Same

2006-04-25T16:53:00.000+08:00

Stay The Same

by Joey McIntyre

Don't you ever wish
You were someone else
You were meant to be
The way you are exactly
Don't you ever say
You don't like the way you are
When you learn to love yourself
You're better off by far
And I hope you always stay the same
'Cause there's nothing 'bout you I would change

I think that you could be
Whatever you wanted to be
If you could realize
All the dreams you have inside
Don't be afraid
If you've got something to say
Just open up your heart
And let it show you the way

Don't you ever wish
You were someone else
You were meant to be
The way you are exactly
Don't you ever say
You don't like the way you are
When you learn to love yourself
You're better off by far
And I hope you always stay the same
'Cause there's nothing 'bout you I would change

Believe in yourself
Reach down inside (ohh-oooh)
The love you find will set you free
Believe in yourself (ohh-oooh)
You will come alive
Have faith in what you do
You'll make it through

Ohh-wooahh-ohh
Heeeeeyyy

Don't you ever wish (ohhhhh yeah)
You were someone else
You were meant to be (you were meant to be)
The way you are exactly
Don't you ever say (Ohh-wooahh-ohh)
You don't like the way you are
When you learn to love yourself (love yourself)
You're better off by far
And I hope you always stay the same(stay the same)
'Cause there's nothing 'bout you I would change(change)

No, there's nothing 'bout you I would change . . .

Don't change . . .

~ximinn
* -

tiring life

2006-04-25T16:26:00.000+08:00

lolo~xD

haven been blogging nowadays..trying to prepare well for mye..i feel that i am the only one preparing and getting super stressed out..friends in my class seemed unbothered abt mye..

really afraid that i will not b able to make it..got the strange feeling..i have never got this before..argg..i am left with only a week to finish up my 5 pieces of art prep work..it is definitely not enough lah..first time doing art exams..so stress out..what to do?hais..must finish no matter what

everytime go back from school..so tired out and stress about coming up exams..going home make no different from what i suffered in school..have to listen to her nagg at me like my techer..abt my studies and my room..sleeeping with my sister is so not good..she messed up the whole room then i have to clear..my room cleaning cannot be finish de..
mommy always do the wrong thing at the wrong time..she dun understand what i feel..who would want to study after reaching home at 6 lor..spend long day in school hoping that can rest when reach home but instead getting nagg at..bleahx..

cant wait for mye to finsh..i need to slack..haha..cant stand this kinda life anymore..need break..

buhbye guys~
*ximinn
~wanna buy comics!they are just so so nice can..my fren bring them to class everyday.. haha..didnt noe that comics is so so nice..buy le can read everyday..make a collection of it in my room..hope my sister get married soon[getting mean]..then i can have a room to myself..hees..like my other sis..

Aloha~

2006-04-21T22:55:00.000+08:00

lolo~[hello in my way]xD

been blogging lesser and lesser..been busy with school work and cca stuffs..hais..
fortunately i can finally take a few weeks break from cca..but gotta replace the time by concentrading for mid year..left with 6 days..got quite irritated between the weekdays over some personal stuffs..hope its really over..cannot stand it anymore..

i got the feeling that i wun be able to make it..i cant understand why..nth i studied can be remembered..and i got the tendency to sleep in class even if i slept at 10 the night b4..
maybe because of the weather..make ppl fall asleep easily..haha..

kinda happy tha its a weekend already..after a long week of rushing through syllubus..but cant slack tt much..still have to concentrade for about 3 week..all will end on the 10th may..its very fast..time flies really too fast..how i wish i can go back to the past..maybe i shouldnt..oh well..

cant wait for june to come!haha..i noe its abit too early to think of it..but thinking that i can slack for awhile its quite motivating..haha..i am weird..i just love holidays..but not all the time..coz sometimes when you are at home you just got nothing to do..and its quite irritating as time will really go very very slowly and u dunno wat to do..get what i meant here..

got to go..buhbye guys..xP
~ximin
*cant wait for mid year to fininsh..get it done and over with..

lolo~

2006-04-19T20:40:00.000+08:00

hey guys..back to update again:)

8 more days will be having MYE le..have not prepared totally..only abit here and there..my fate will depend on MYE le..i must do well no matter what..

school have been super tiring..teacher all rushing through chapters after chapters..always mixed up formulae for maths..all of them look the same!!

also had sports heat today..super tired out now though i only ran 400m..suppose to have 7 ppl running together..but in the end only 3 came[including me]..lucky for me..dun wanna take part in events anymore..so tiring and scary..made me nervous for nth..argg..

slept super early this few days..but dunno why..even if i slept at 10..
6.30 arrive in like 5 secs..so fast..like never sleep at all..so weird..

hmm..needed go and do my art prep work le..haven touch anything yet..sian..
byee guys! good luck to those having MYE..JIAYOU!! xP
*ximinn
~it be over soon..hang on!

You Are Worthy Of My Praise

2006-04-16T22:47:00.000+08:00

You Are Worthy Of My Praise

I will give you all my worship
I will give you all my praise
You alone I long to worship
You alone are worthy of my praise

I will worship (I will worship)
With all of my heart (With all of my heart)
I will praise you (I will praise you)
With all of my strength (With all my strength)
I will seek you (I will seek you)
All of my days (All of my days)
I will follow (I will follow)
Follow all of your ways (All your ways)

I will give you all my worship
I will give you all my praise
You alone I long to worship
You alone are worthy of my praise

I will bow down (I will bow down)
Hail you as king (Hail you as king)
I will serve you (I will serve you)
I'll give you everything (I'll give you everything)
I will lift up (I will lift up)
My eyes to your throne (My eyes to your throne)
I will trust you (I will trust you)
I will trust you alone (Trust you alone)

I will give you all my worship
I will give you all my praise
You alone I long to worship
You alone are worthy of my praise

I will bow down (I will bow down)
Hail you as king (Hail you as king)
I will serve you (I will serve you)
I'll give you everything (I'll give you everything)
I will lift up (I will lift up)
My eyes to your throne (My eyes to your throne)
I will trust you (I will trust you)
I will trust you alone (Trust you alone)

I will give you all my worship
I will give you all my praise
You alone I long to worship
You alone are worthy of my praise

~ximinn
* -

2006-04-16T21:46:00.000+08:00

Its sunday again!!

had a horrible headache in the morning..didnt manage to go for service..was super upset..couldnt see my friends get baptised!! argg..

anw..went down for cg at abt 11..dun wanna miss cg..had lunch with the younger ones today..
had cg after that..quite fufilling..the title of bs today is "INSIDE OUT"led by sulwyn..
learning to move out of ones comfort zone is never easy..its a big step..
as for me..moving out of one comfort zone is not easy..like in school..i never dared to make fren with my peers..i am used to my frens i made during sec 1s and 2s..its like a big generation gap between me and peers and sec 1s this year..i dunno why..i jus couldnt take the step..
but i like making frens in church and in my cca..talking to them just made me feel contented..
especially to the younger ones in my cg..though it might be tiring to talk to every one..looking after them and have chats with them..sharing with them their week..its not easy..but i jus like doing it..i am always satisfied after helping them..haha..

my friends in school too..just like talking to them alot..i am afraid of being alone..whereby my frens dun talk to me..dun bother abt me..i will jus get freak out..talking to them i learn things abt daily life..which to apply which not to apply..i also like helpng them out..with opinions and advices..though not all works but will still feel the contentment of helping out :)

anw..had captains ball today..didnt really felt like playing at first..but in the end still played..got persuaded by tammy..haha..the weather was like going to rain like tt..but we still played..had fun..we played till it starts having lightning and rainning..
played floorball too!with young adults..had fun!
some word to my members i had in my grp..hope you see it..:)

caleb: hey!great to have you in the team!You played really well as an attacker! haha..hope you had fun during the game!xD

raymund:hey!glad to have you around! you're indeed a good defender! you played really well! hope you have fun during the match!xP

emily:ellos!didnt noe you can play that well!glad to have in in the same team!you did a great job in the game!hope you had fun during the match!:P

Thats all for today!Will try to update during weekdays..promise will at least update 3 times:)
gtg guys! hope you will have a fruitfull week!
**For those who have school for the week..Just pray that school will be fruitful for ya and God will always there for you accompanying you when you sure down and tired out! Press on in school and in God eh!Have fun in school!!
~ximinn
*life may be really tiring..but always rmb that your friend will be out there for ya!xP

2006-04-15T20:34:00.000+08:00

hey guys..Sorry for the slow updating..have been busy doing many stuffs..and i agree that time really flies!!

hmm..suppose to have a civil defence course today..woke up early in the morning ..scolded many people for many reasons..its horrible lah..in the end the course was cancelled because of the ''OVERWHELMING" attendance..out of 40..21 was absent..wat a joke..waste my whole morning going there..then tell me its cancelled..

wasnt feeling well after tt..had flu and headache..but still went to club doing some stuffs..was feeling really down today..almost had no mood to do anything..was upset over some stuff that happened..i held on lah coz didnt want my friends to know..dun wish to be a burden to them..haha..

got home at abt 8+..got scolded for nth..mommy wasnt feeling okie bahx..having bad mood..quarrelled quite badly with jiejie..but wanna thanks mommy for dinner..despite being in bad mood still cook dinner for me..thanks mom!

spent most of my day slacking becoz of the horrible headache..had giddy spells..crap~
anw..

gtg guys..meet up soon eh..
*ximinn
~weather have been really bad..take good care okies..:)

2006-04-12T20:34:00.000+08:00

i need more sleep..how i wish i can sleep like this kitten..so soundly with no worries..
Stress and tired out~

ellos..this few days are soo tiring..been rushing my revision for mid year..but nth seems to go into my mind..just cant rmb a thing..mid year is super early this year..left with only 2 weeks..what should i do??school is really tiring..bleahx..totally no fun at all this year..
stress stress stress..theres like never ending work to be done but just so little time..
so lost le!!Arx..needa start making notes for mid year le..though it might be too late..

anw..school was okie today..was just unlucky enough to have a SLO which is so unreasonable..i really wanna go spain and experiance how the world champ is like..why cant he jus let me go..was really upset lah..my whole family was so supportive to let me go..it was the first time they support me soo much..Hope my SLO is like this too..but its too late..really cannot go..its the fact that cannot be changed..

was feeling terrible after talking to my SLO..cried in my heart..locked my self in the room the whole day since i reached home..got totally -100% mood to do anything but stick to the computer and slack..totally no mood to study at all..wanna skip school tml..which is totally impossible..how i wish i could just stay at home and rest for day..
i guess thats why there are up and downs in life..and i am totally having downs in life..

Hope things will change for better..
gtg le..byee guys~
*ximinn
~perharps it should be kept in my mind and never be known forever..

2006-04-09T21:54:00.000+08:00

just like this dog..i am tired out totally
yeah! its sunday again!!
sorry guys..for not blogging for a long time..my computer had been down for a long long time.. anw..now im BACK:)
life have been super tiring..school..studies..home and cca..its really really difficult to cope.. haven been really focusing on my studies nowadays..been really really tired out by school work and cca..school work is piling up..Its like never ending..Mid year is coming too..27 april..super early lor.. cannot afford to fail any subjects.. not even 1.. promise mommy to pass all at least.. now SUPER stressed up..i need help with studies!!sob sob..
CCA have been horrible..the younger ones dun listen to me..sec three only got 3 ppl..go there can do nth coz no one bothers to listen to me..dun have any respect from them..trying my best to help out le..but "ahem'' treat herself like chair when shes not and doing things she dun have to then say we ASK her to do de..i wanna help oso cannot..really wish to help out..gimmi a chance can guys..

went tomb sweeping today..got woke up by my mommy 6 in the morning..jus to get some fruit,flower and food for the ancestor[which i dun even noe anyone of them]..set off for tomb sweeping at 9.30..was really upset because :
1: i missed service for it..
2: it was super boring and the weather was super hot
3: wasted the whole morning there doing nth..but burning incense paper..
anw..mommy was quite please that i was there and i was glad to accompny her..:)

besides that..Had captains ball com today..it was horrible..partly because i was too tired to play because lack of sleep..and i cant believe that our team was the youngest among all..played with all the big built..lost like mad..play 5 match lost all 5..got trashed..so unfair..was super super tired out after playing..didnt have any mood after the 2nd match..super pissed off and tired out..
After the com had dinner with both caleb and swee boon..had fun talking to them.. went cwp with caleb leow and sweeboon after that to meet raymund,yongling,frankie,mindy,lucille,beryl and sarah..went to overhead bridge and have "dinner"..had lotsa fun talking to them..

today had been super tiring..need my rest now..as school starts tml..pray that you guys wil have fun and stay cheerful always!HEs always there for you so do I!!
gtg guys!byee~
*ximinn
~no matter how hard life is..never give up coz God have never give up on you!
Press on for the week!

2006-03-12T22:02:00.000+08:00

It's SUNDAY!!

hey guys..so soory..haven been updating..my internet down..currently using my sisters computer to update.hope you will like it..haha..maybe not..

life have been okie..but really tiring..haven had enough sleep for 3 months..having a week holiday is like normal schhol day..not much differnece..coz i am working!quite glad actuallly...working for my sis..shes a professional wedding planner..too bad its not my cup of tea.if not i would have join her..haha..i helping her by doing data work and filing stuff..cant be bothered abt the pay..coz i dun have to work tt hard..haha..jus merely typing and filing..haha..and i dun have to face a fierce or unreasonable boss..but my pretty sister(bleahx).. :P the best thing is i can chat online for many hours..hahaha..

lets tok abt today..
listened to Pastor Kenny preach today really encourage me lots..talked abt desperate suituation in life..learning to acknowledge our needs and believing in Christ..Got struck by a qus that i got noanser for....What do you really thirst for..and how much do you thirst for jesus..i was thinking and thinking but nothing came into my mind..i dun really noe what i thirst for or desire..(thats terrible)..

Cg today was great..though a few of them wasnt around but was really glad to see the younger ones back in cg today!Looking at them grow and change..turning more and more mature and seeing them back to cg faithfully w/o fail every week really encourage me alot..having cg outing on saturday..cant wait..J.A.Mmers and Le'vine ders(am i right?) are going tgt..its really cool lah..its like G cube is back again even though there are alot of sec ones now..J.A.Mmers rock on!

Had ltp today..didnt really understand what Pastor Kenny was talking about coz i was really sleepy and tired out..hope i can have enough sleep for the week!haha..will be going sentosa one of these days..yeah! Beach life rocks..i really miss the windy and peaceful sight..

Had dinner with mommy ,daddy ,my eldest sister and her hubby at her place..was quite fufiling..maybe coz i hadnt seen my dad for a month or 2..had a swim too..its then realised my swimming skills dropped alot..:( will be staying at my sister place until tues..so wun be able to meet up you guys in chuch for catching tml..sorry guys..

i better go now..promise i will update soon..buhbyee!
*ximin
~i really miss G-cube alot..can we have a G-cube outing too..:(

2006-03-06T21:20:00.000+08:00

My sis took this picture on her way home today..someone left it there..they are soo adorable..who could have left them there i a box..so cruel..
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
hey guys..
had common test today..lit and el..i gonna flung them..i didnt fininsh my lit..and its like super difficult..writing 2 essay in 1 hour..the setter is nuts..feel like going on a holiday at the beach..i need a break! have been totally tired out..

~so peaceful..breezy and cooling..

well..today was okie..nth special happen..went for a bball game with beryl,benn and isabelle..haha..i felt bad lah..keep bullying isabelle..calling her fish bone..sorry belle..:)

after that went studying in church..saw sarah there..studied together with her and the rest..valery joined us after awhile..
couldnt set my mind studying..i guess am too stressed out..haven get enough sleep since school starts..yeah..1 week holiday next week! i wanna slack and do nth except playing and listening to his words.. :)
had dinner with sarah and valery..cool! i love having dinner with frens ..though i like having dinner home more.. :)

gotta go..buhbyeee!
*ximin
~yeah..my favourite cousin got into np studying aerospace!Jiayou kor!:)

2006-03-05T21:50:00.000+08:00

Be as strong as this hamster..never give up!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
IT'S SUNDAY!!
Yeah..Celebrated Hannah birthday today! Had so muchh fun! Jammers..Just wanna thank you guys for coming to cg unfaillingly and wholeheartedly..I am really encourage lots by you guys! continue to grow in him and love him deeper kies..press on in him kies..No matter what happens just rmb that Hes always there for YOU..so am I..continue to cling on to Him kies..You guys really made alot of memories in my life!

Weixiang,Sulwyn and Adeline..U guys are really doing a marvellous job!Jiayou kies!J.A.M rocks!:)

me to hannah:Happy birthday my dear!Hope you enjoyed yourself today!Seeing you grow and become how got wanted you to become really encourage me lots!Seeing you in cg every week unfailingly not only encourage me but the leaders too!Pray that you will just continue to grow in him and love him even deeper like a everlasting fire!:)

Went for LTP today..Learnt alot of things lah..Seeing Pastor Kenny preaching is so cool..He's really knowledgeable..No matter what you ask he can answer you and have evidence of what he say is true!Really cant wait for the next ltp..I guess i have lotsa question to ask him..:) Played floor ball too..A few match lah..But i guess..I am getting the hang of it..:P Had dinner with Weixiang,Eric,Daniel lim,Thomas,Jiehua,Jessica,Bethia,Benn,Aggie,Joshua and one of Weixiangs fren..So cool!Benn intro me to a super deliciouus pasta..haha..Love it soo much..So cheesy and creamy..thanks Benn!:) Went to the arcade with weixiang they all and had sooo much fun..Bball and daytona rocks!! Anyway..I had lotsa fun today!

Gtg guys..You guys really rocks my life lots..:) buhbyee! *ximin ~Can we see angels??:P

2006-03-04T23:26:00.000+08:00

~my 2nd sister and bf

~my 2nd and 3rd sister

my 1st sister and husband

this is all my sisters and their "partners"..wanted to post 1 full family photo..but that one with my elders sister..waiting for her to send me.. :)

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
taday have quite a fruitful day..went to church a 2..meet adeline,aaron and pearly to do some"IMPORTANT" stuffs..haha..then had bs with sulwyn and valerie..really had a fruitful time in with them..

went up to hebron to hear them practice for tmls worship..all my favourite song!:)
did alot of drawing too..really too bored le..haha..

had dinner with farand,sulwyn,eujin,pris,amos and renfred..talk abt alot of things..

gtg le..i post more tml! :)buhbyeee!
~ximin
*should i take early childhood when i graduate?

2006-03-03T23:32:00.000+08:00

Its FRIDAY!

yippiee..its finally friday..take a break from school..gees..School have realy been very tiring and stressful..Tons of homework to be done..Test to be studied..its like a never ending process..every single day is like repeated.doing the same thing over and over again..

i always wanted to give up..give up all the work..give up studying and stuff..always asking myself..study so hard for what..till the end..also no use..
but thinking back..beside doing work..we learn things too..we also go through different process in life..there are always up or downs in life..nothing is perfect..they can be super close to perfectness but never perfect..meanwhile..we also made friends..good frens..close friends..friends are someone who is always there for you..encouraging you consoling you..always there.

Just like God..Always there for us..Looking over us..Taking care of us..Although life can be really hard and tiring..But he's always there loving us unconditionally..No matter what happens always remember that God is always there for us,listening to us..He's the only one that is flawless and perfect..Guiding us through the up and downs of life..If what we are doing now is tough..then God did for us is even tougher..much much tougher..He not only bought us up,guide us and look after us..He even send his only Son to die on the cross for our sins..for all the wrong thing that we did..

"For God loved the world in this way: He gave His only Son,so that everyone who believes in Him will not perish but have eternal life. "John 3:16

hope this post encourage you..gtg le..buhbyee!
~ximin
*"For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons,neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord. Romans 8:38-39

2006-03-02T21:33:00.000+08:00

You Are Holy (Prince Of Peace)

by Newsong

You are holy (You are holy) 
You are mighty (You are mighty) 
You are worthy (You are worthy) 
Worthy of praise (worthy of praise) 
I will follow (I will follow) 
I will listen (I will listen) 
I will love you (I will love you) 
All of my days (All of my days) 

I will sing to (You are Lord of Lords) 
And worship (You are King of Kings) 
The King who (You are mighty God) 
is worthy (Lord of Everything) 
I will love and (You're Emanuel) 
adore Him (You're the Great I Am) 
And I will bow (You're the Prince of Peace) 
down before Him (Who is the Lamb) 
and I will sing to (You're the living God) 
and worship (You're my saving Grace) 
the King who (You will rein forever) 
is worthy (You're the Ancient of days) 
And I will love and (You are Alpha, Omega,) 
adore him (Beginning, and End) 
And I will bow down (You're my savior, Messiah) 
before Him (Redeemer and Friend) 
You’re my prince of peace 
And I will live my life for You 

You are holy (You are holy) 
You are mighty (You are mighty) 
You are worthy (You are worthy) 
Worthy of praise (worthy of praise) 
I will follow (I will follow) 
I will listen (I will listen) 
I will love you (I will love you) 
All of my days (All of my days) 

I will sing to (You are Lord of Lords) 
And worship (You are King of Kings) 
The King who (You are mighty God) 
is worthy (Lord of Everything) 
I will love and (You're Emanuel) 
adore Him (You're the Great I Am) 
And I will bow (You're the Prince of Peace) 
down before Him (Who is the Lamb) 
and I will sing to (You're the living God) 
and worship (You're my saving Grace) 
the King who (You will rein forever) 
is worthy (You're the Ancient of days) 
And I will love and (You are Alpha, Omega,) 
adore him (Beginning, and End) 
And I will bow down (You're my savior, Messiah) 
before Him (Redeemer and Friend) 
You’re my prince of peace 
And I will live my life for You 
You’re my prince of peace 
And I will live my life for You

this song motivated me to trust in Him and love Him even deeper.
He is really the Prince of Peace..
The Peace of the world of the world..Creator of the universe..
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
hey guys..so long never blogg le..sorry..kinda sad..
mommy scalded her fourth finger by the kettle of water..
accidentally touched the kettle pot..got blister than infected..
see le heartache.. :(
doctor say will recover de.. :) but will leave a scar.. 
:( heart really broken..she cannot cook and wash for awhile..
that means i can eat out.. :)
been spending a lot of time with mommy nowadays..
kinda glad that i spent time with her..
wanna thank God for giving me determination to give up my
free time out with fren (which i cant last time)and pei my mommy..

had a tiring week..couldnt set my mind to study and concentrade
in class..my mind is really messed up and sometimes i dun really
noe what i was thinking..kinda getting tired and infleunce easily
by emotions..like getting pissed up or upset very easily..
times and times again i doubt my salvation in christ..
and feel lost..is like got no one to turn to when i am down..
i love the times i spent with my friends and really hate to part with
them in school and stuff..but i have to..decided to spent more time
home pei my mommy and help her with work..
she allows me to spent time with frens in church or
somewhere else on weekends and at weekdays night.. 
she doesnt mind i spent the whole day out..
as long as i be home when she wants me to and listen to her..
mommy is really the greatest and most understanding person
at home!!

going to buy present tml with sulwyn..yeah! mommy will be joining
daddy at his workplace..she allow me to go out tml..
theres jpm tml night..
cant wait..haha..yeah..weekend is approching!
CgCg..cant wait to see all the younger ones in church..

i better stop here..its kinda long..buhbyee!
*ximin
~For God did not send his son into the world to
condemmn the world,but the world through him might be saved.John 3:17

2006-02-27T21:17:00.000+08:00

Its Monday.

sorry guys..haven blogg for 4 days..busy.. :P
monday is the day i love and hate the most..love because its the start of the week..got the lightest bag for the whole week..hate because sunday its over! And i miss cg lots! :(
lets talk abt saturday and sunday..

~Saturday~
big sunny weekend..got force to wake up early in the morning..:( cca lah..go there sitdown only get scolded le..scolded for playing with a stone..
Korkor bu yao sheng qi le..wo bu shi gu yi de..wan wan er yi..:(

Hmmm..miss yfc alot..so long never go liao..its like i haven been there for a month plus.. People there change..so many new faces..and its super noisy..it used to be peace and quiet..
Anw..went there do nth..waste my time..sian..wanted to help out doing planes..but no one around..so went off to northpoint with my frens..play arcade..so boring de..so many ppl..super noisy..play awhile then went off le..

went back to church at 1+..not much ppl there..only me,valery and some guys..
played captains ball..yeah!!so fun..took alot of picture.. :)
Went for dinner @ bk with beryl and bellebelle..talk and laugh alot..so funny..then went to shop around..we went to kiddy palace and buy mittens..they are super nice!hee..linus joined us awhile later..keep bullying me..haha..but had fun lah..

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
~Sunday~
Meet yongling and frankie kor for breakfast at overhead bridge..Talk alot with each other..cool..
went back for service in church after that..e songs are super nice..Worshipping God is really different..:)
Went to Mos Burger with my cg for lunch! Had so much fun talking to them..Felt really encouraged to see them in cg..Went to shopp at B1..bought 2 earings..

Went back to chuch after that..had LTP..didnt wanted to go..was feeling very tired already..didnt had alot of sleep on sat night..hehe..In the end still attended..Pastor Kenny Fam talked abt church and the purpose of the church..its really meaningful..
Had floor ball after that..felt weird lo..ran abt..but didnt touch the ball AT ALL..haix..then played pick~a~ball..played with the wall..like squash with joshua and zeken..they joker lor..play until so funny..couldnt stop laughing..

Had dinner @ KFC with yongling,benn,caleb and beryl..we laugh alot lah..its like really funny lor..at that time i was super tired and could think properly le..ask a super funny question..and became a joker..haha..i was thinking for the whole day..If mommy's brother and daddy's brother are my uncles...then what's my sister's brother..E answer should be My brother..I dunno why i kept thinking the answer something else..kept laughing..
Went walking around cwp before going home..was totally tired out already..

Had a wonderful and meaningful weekend this week!Really felt the difference having God as my Lord and Saviour!..:)Really wanna thank God for the week and everything that he have done in my life!And the wonderful world He have created!
well..gtg now..buhbyee!
~ximin
*Everything is really different now with You my Lord!

2006-02-23T21:04:00.000+08:00

Hey guys..

haven really been blogging..not in the mood to bah..so many things happen in a short period of time..was so tired out..thought back about the yrs i had been through..so many up and downs..happy and sad memories..good friends made..
Was really thankful for what God have given me..a wonderful world to live in..a wonderful family..and friends..
Had a terrible week last week..quarrel with my family..things have been really terrible.. Suddenly..a thought came into my mind..i guess it came to your mind too when you were feeling down..

Why did god created me??Why did he give me such a family??Am i mistakenly born??What is the purpose of me living?

Was clearing my room that day..came across a book limmy gave me last year..Purpose Driven Life..I started reading..I was reading the chapter "You are not an accident"

"I am you Creator.You were in my care even before you were born." Isaiah 44.2a (Cev)
"The Lord will fufill his purpose in me" Psalm 138:8a(Niv)

These verses answers all..you were not an accident..but long created by God.
It is not by fate , nor luck , nor coincidence that you are in this world..breathing at this very moment..You were alive because God wanted to create you..He will fufill his purpose in you..
Because God made you for a reason,He decided when you will be born and how long you will live..He planned the time of your birth and death..He planned where you be born where you will live for His purpose.Your race and nationality were not accident.God left no details to chances.

"You saw me before i was born and scheduled me each day of my life before i began to breathe.Every day was recorded in your book!" Psalm 139:16 (Lb)

Most amazingly,God decided how you would be born regardless who your parents are..God had a plan in creating you.It doesnt matter whether if your parent were good or bad or indiffernent. He knew that those two individuals possessed exactly the right genetic make up to create the custom"you"he had in mind. They had the DNA God wanted to make you.

"Long beforehe laid down earth's foundations,he had us in mind,had settled on us as the focus of his love." Ephesian1:4a(Msg)
"God decided to give us through the word of truth so we might be the most important of all things he made. James 1:18(Ncv)
"God form the earth....He did not create it to be empty but formed it to be inhabited." Isaiah 45:18(Gwt)

God never do anything accidentally and he never make mistakes.He has a reason for everything he creates.Every living thing on earth no matter plants or animals, humans or insects was design with a purpose in his mind.Why did he bother to do all this.Why did he bother to go through all the troubles of creating a universe for us?Because He is a God of love..You are created as a special object of love.He made you so he could love you and its the truth to build your life on.

"God is love."John 4:8
"...I have carried you since you were born;I have taken care of you from birth.Even when you are old,I will be the same.Even when you hair turned grey,I will take carw of you.I made you and i will take care of you." Isaiah 46:3-4 (Ncv)
"I have loved you with an everlasting love; therefore, with loving-kindness have I drawn you." Jeremiah 31:3

He is love..the love is the essence of His character.He didnt need to create you.He is not alone.But He wanted made you in order to express his love to the world.without God in the world..we would all be accidents..results of astronomical chance in the universe.But there is a God who made you for a reason,and your life has profound meaning!
We discovered the meaning and purpose only when we make God the reference point in our lives.

yepps..Gald that i am born in this world and found the meaning of living..And its great to live with God ..The Creator of me and you..the Creator of our Universe!wanna thank God for the wonderful universe he have given us,the wonderful friends he have given us and the purpose of living!

gtg le..hope you like this post!:) buhbye!
*ximin
~God is great!

2006-02-22T19:58:00.000+08:00

You Laid Aside Your Majesty

You laid aside Your Majesty,
Gave up everything for me.
Suffered at the hands for those you have created.
You took away my guilt and shame,
When You died and rose again.
Now today you reign,
When heaven and earth exalted.

I really want to worship You my Lord,
You have won my heart and I am yours.
Forever and ever,I will love you
You're the Only One who died for me,
Gave Your life to set me free,
So I lift my voice to You in adoration.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Still
Hide me now
Under your wings
Cover me
Within your mighty hands

When the oceans rise and thunder roar
I will soar with You above the storm
Father your are king over the floods
I will be still and know You are God

Find rest my soul
In Christ alone
Know his power
In quietness and trust

Posting two songs today..hope you like it..coz i really do!
gtg le..buhbye!
~ximin
*For God loved the world in this way: He gave His only Son,
so that everyone who believes in Him will not perish but have eternal life John 3:16

2006-02-19T22:02:00.000+08:00

Its SUNDAY again!

had a really great weekend!though i didnt have a great week..but weekend is really great..had soo much fun!hmm..haven post for 3 days..so..willl have a super long post i guess..here it goes!

Friday:
school ended at 12.30..was really glad because its weekend tml!groovy nite tml!! :)
meet up beryl for study in church..went at abt 3..by then theres alot of ppl already..preparing hard for the groovy nite..

couldnt really concentrade to do my art..so decided to stop doing it and started helping with the deco..so cool..did alot of cutting and had many ideas from one another to make it nicer..everyone was so engrossed in the deco preparation..didnt take short break in between..but kept doing and doing..so fun! had a short dinner break at 7+..

Continued with work at 8..there was alot of kids around..coz adults having ltp..they enjoy themself with bethia..playing games..we suggested them to play see who can keep the quietest..but didnt work lah..:)

had supper at 11+ with bethia,jiehuai,raymund and caleb at the overhead bridge..reached home at abt 1?coz moomy not at home..waited under the void deck..was so sleepy..

Saturday:
went to church at abt 10 to help out in the groovy nite..was excited abt it! :)
help shun bin to make soup..so difficult..but leant alot..teamwork is important in the kitchen! haha..i help by washing the utensils..cut down their work load..had so much fun in the kitchen..washing..talking..learning..cool!

the timing and stuff to do is quite organized..thanks to wini!she made a timetable for us..informing us what time do what..things went on pretty well and sucessful..didnt had breaks..we were like bees..working and working..we learnt as we work..

besides the kitchen crew working hard..outside the kitchen was the band,deco team and the soung/light crew..they worked pretty hard too..things outside is pretty organized..thing were sucessful..teamwork does miracles!:)

had lunch at 12.30..didnt really eat..coz had abit of headaches..didnt got appetite..had ice milo..wnet back to the kitchen again..did lots of washing up too..i enjoyed lah..had prayers in galilee 6..

things started to get kinda messed up at 4~5..decos not ready..soup got problem..ppl started getting worried and continued working out problem..thank god..things went on smoothly and problems was solved..soup became nice and decos are all up..thank god!

dinner started at 7..ppl settled down..had alot of new comers..there as many ppl working in the kitchen..preparing the dshes and usher stared dishing out..things went on sucessfully..yupps..the groovy nite is really sucessful..everyone did their part!

was really encouraged by the 3 person who received christ!the dinner was really great..
watched how GOD worked in everyone of us..its really encouraged..its like working for the whole day..and its not wasted..all paid off..:)

got home only at one..was really tired out already..had back aches..slept only at 2..

Sunday:
today is great..service was good..cg was great..hmm..felt happy to see the younger ones in adelines house!

did worship in ades place..then did sharing..was really glad to see the younger ones share abt thier week..seeing them growing in christ and how christ work in their life!really thank god for them!didnt have bs today..was kinda feling moody..maybe because of the little sleep time i had..:) but had lotsa fun..

went for lunch in 834..then went to hebron..had a parent forum abt what parents expectations about children..really learnt alot from it..the forum was super meaningful..

had sports today..played catching and floorball..had fun!but my leg hurts..went to the doc went i went home..got mc for excuse from pe..:) thats means no pe tml..yeah..

better go now..hope the post is not too long..i tried to cut short le..:)..buh bye!
~ximin
*teamwork is important in every part of life!

2006-02-16T20:05:00.000+08:00

One Way

I lay my life down at Your feet
Cause You're the only one I need
I turn to You and You are always there

In troubled times it's You I seek
I put You first that's all I need
I humble all I am all to You

One way
Jesus
You're the only one that I could live for
One Way
Jesus
You're the only one that I could live for

You are always, always there
Every how and everywhere
Your grace abounds so deeply within me 

You will never ever change
Yesterday today the same
Forever till forever meets no end

You are the Way the Truth and the Life
We live by faith and not by sight for You
We're living all for You

this song motivated me for the past few days..
i was feeling really really down and upset..feeling better now..
hope this song bring you through the week too! :)

~ximin
*hope this song helps..

2006-02-14T20:04:00.000+08:00

I WANNA MOVE OUT !

had a terrible night last night and this afternoon..
got scolding out of nth ytd by my family..then got embarassed to the whole class by my form/maths teacher..crap~ this is what happen..

Ytd night:
I was happy to see my dad home ytd! i haven seen him for 2 mths le..its his b'day..so we celebrated at home with everysingle siblings at home..thats how the thing happen..
i needed to change my plan as soon as possible because of my 2nd sister BF..because the line i using is given by him after he got a new line and a new phone..he wanted the line back for his line..so i need to change line..i tot i could get a new hp..so i asked my 1st sister..

my dad overheard us and tot i wanted to get a second line and a new phone..he started scolding me..i just let him scold and didnt want to talk back coz its his b'day..so nvm..out of the blue..he started to compare me with 2 china girl in the NEWSPAPER! i was like super pissed off and sad..

Everything was ok..then my 3rd sister add oil into fire..say that the whole holiday i spent all my days out and computer..didnt see me study or do work..i was upset by what she said..i spent my days out coz i couldnt study at home..and i spent my time on computers doing my projects!she didnt noe..i didnt blame her..

my 1st sister wanted to help me but instead scolded me after she heard hat my 3rd sis said..i tot she was always the one who doted me and care the most for me..i was surprised and heartbroken..my 2nd sister didnt say anything lor..only wanted me to ge a new line asap..

i could stop crying the whole night after what happened at home..my dad even wanted me to move out..but i didnt..i knew he was serious abt it this time but i didnt bother..he didnt give me allowance today..i know he still angry..theres nothing i could do but stay at home and do my work..was really heartbroken about what happened ytd nite..

Today in school:
Celebrated valentines day and total defence day..
had gift exchange during home period and fire drills during the 4th period..was quite bored in class..didnt realy wanted to talk today coz disnt have the mood too..my friends around me jus could stop talking abt the presents and bfs..i jus slack all the way..

was informed to go for maths remedial..dint want to go but still went..did some questions of the first test we had in jan..only given 20 mins for 20 questions?i only did 5-6.. was waiting for teacher to explain the rest because i didnt noe how to do..while teacher was going through..my friend asked me how to do a question coz he din understand..i turned back to teach him lor..the teacher saw and called my name..then say

"ximin,what you doing?why arent you listening..you are always not listening in class..i've checked ur results k..you are good for nth..so you better listen!"

i was so pissed off lor..my previous year results maybe abit bad..but i got only 4Cs and the rest are 3Bs and 2As..that dosent mean i am good for nth lor..i go As ok..the whole class started staring at me and pointing fingers..i nearly cried..wanted to talk back..but didnt want to delay the class..so i kept quiet in class..and jus listen to her talking "maths"..

ran home straight after school..trying not to be angry..din want to bring my anger and sadness home..was feeling abit better now..but no longer have a feel belonging at home anymore..feeling like a extra at home..

gtg..talk tml..buhbye~
~ximin
*Does my family really care for me?i cant find someone to talk my heart to at home..i rather be alone..

2006-02-12T22:03:00.000+08:00

Its sunday

didnt really have a wonderful time today..things are like not going the way i want it to be..
maybe i'm just to tired out for sleeping late..and the quarrel i had last night..
but did many things today..had ushering, cg,games,soccer match and dinner..

Ushering:
ushering is great i can say..maybe because its once a week.. :)when i first did ushering..i willonly stand there and do nothing but smiling..like statue..haha..coz not really used to it..but today is really different..i became bolder i guess..today i walk around..assisting people to seats..saying good morning and welcome..it really great! :)

CG:
had cg in fushan garden..talked about love in bs!its really amzing to see how the younger ones enjoy themselves in cg and coming back every single week!hope to see you guys more often!!
we discuss among cg what we think love is about..how love changed our life and many more..will write about it tml..:)

Games:
had police and thief today! really enjoyed alot..running abt avoiding to be caught..hiding here and there..so funny..haha..i think i played catching for straight three days..friday with kids abt p3..sat and sunday with ppl who are in church..haha..its really fun! wanted to play floorball..but didnt play..dunno why too lah..i only knew that i am really tired out after catching..:)

Soccer watching:
went to fuchun sec to see ypuths and adults play soccer..though abit tired and pain all over me..but had fun talking with people lo..knee hurts alot today..after falling on my knee during catching and the walking from church to fuchun sec..can die..but meanwhile had bits of fun and laughter here and there..talking while walking..

dinner:
had dinner with sulwyn,raymund,caleb leow...was watching pictures from sulwyn and caleb handphone..haha..had fun..looking at caleb posting to take pics..then went to see clothes,balls and watches..was already falling asleep..and maybe late for home..but i didnt care that much lah..nth to do at home anyway..its more fun to be out with church friends..talking and seeing things..:)

had a super long day today..tired out i think i had fun..:)
anyway..gtg le..talk tml..buhbye~
~ximin
*loving you deeper day by day..

2006-02-11T21:07:00.000+08:00

Its satuday!

haven been blooging lately..have been out the whole day..really tired!! but had lots of fun though! :) today would be a long long post..ready anot here it goes!

Thursday:
school ended at 1.45..home at 2.30..:) skipped npcc training.. its like i got tons of homework to be completed in a few hours..told my np fren..ask her to pass the msg to sir..argg..she dun believe what i say lor..always say i find excuses..rubbish lah..cant be bothered with her.. argg..always like that de..wat i say to her is like all not true..angry!as if wat she says is all true..sian..

did homework at home..was alone!!so not fair..home alone kills man! decided to go to church and meet val and isabelle.

went to church to meet do homework..done all my work at abt 6~7~..went to play bball with beryl,valery,isabelle..then started raining..so we played under the rain.. :)
they went to my place for dinner..had lotsa fun with them..hehe..

friday:
went to school as usual..went home after recess..wasnt feeling well...reach home at abt 11.30~ slept until 12.30 then went online..felt so much better after that.. :)

went to meet valery,isabelle and beryl to play bball..so fun lo..learn so much abt bball...caryn joined us afer a while..then we played game..friendly match..so fun!!
went back to church..we look after kid for 2 straight hour..their parents went for ltp..so had to look after them..played ice and water, dog and bone, aeiou with them..they so bad lor..keep calling me ''old lady".. but really had fun with them..had a super tiring time..went for supper with raymund,caleb(both) , bethia and beryl.. quarrelled with my mommy went i reach home..so crap lor..she talk no sense lah..but didnt put that in mind lah..after all..she's my mom!hee..

Saturday:
had floorball at macpherson ite..the guys there are so pro..playing with them learnt soo much things..skills..the rule they play is really different..each round we play is only 1 min!!haha..they game ended at 12+..went back to church for captains ball..but i didnt play lah.haha..no mood to..no idea why..maybe jus feeling super tired out.. :)

had catching..really have fun!run around..hiding here and there..
went for dinner after that..with isabelle..then went to buy joshuas present..:)

was home abt 7~..had a long day for 3 days straight!haha..
~end~

it will be sunday tml!!yeah..cg! cool..having bs..cg really encourage me to go to church everyweek! looking forward to see all of my cg members tml!!:) miss you guys lots..

gtg now..:) sorry for the messy post. :)
~ximin
*thank god for the things he've done in my life!

2006-02-08T21:01:00.000+08:00

TEST!!

Had three test in a row today! sob sob.didnt manage to study all of them coz i didnt had time..theres like tons of homework to do in a short period of time..had Biology test , Chinese test and literature test.. :( i gonna fail my lit test! i dun have the novel that i suppose to read..Out of 10 question i only answered like 2? oh man..
Other then tests..homework is still ok..i finish all my homework..

i didnt study for my bio test..but wanna thank god for letting me rmb what the teacher taught.. and i managed to answer all the question ! thankew!!
and also for my chinese test..i actually read the wrong chapters..but wanna thank god for being able to finish all the questions confidently and on time..:)

had a long day in school today..cca was terrible..the sec ones just wouldnt listen to me..had a hard time talking to them and settling them down..but at the mean time also realised that they are quite easy to hoax..just give them some sweets and they will listen to you..haha..

gtg now..update tml..buhbye..
~ximin
* Joy ls 0ne 0f The 0nly Emotions You Can't Contrive. :)

2006-02-07T20:44:00.000+08:00

another sleepy day..

hey guys..hows ur day been ?great ? :)

school have been great for me..though its has been a busy week..with test and stuffs..but i still get to enjoyed myself..got to talk to my friends more often then b4..home work have also been good..:) not that slack le..

didnt get to sleep ytd nite..my sister frens came for mahjong..they play until 1..jus i wanted to sleep..my sister started making calls to her bf..seems to be quarrelling..woke me up lah..couldnt sleep after that..took a 1 hour nap b4 going to school..

went running with beryl and valery at circle green..had fun with them..talking,running and sharing stuffs..:) quite cool..reach home at abt 8..was super tired out..leg hurts alot..but really had fun toking to them..

todays post very short..coz nothing special happened.. :)
anw..gtg le..buhbye~
*ximin
~i need more time to sleep..:)

Its sunday

2006-02-05T22:39:00.000+08:00

Its sunday!

yep yep.its the favourite day of my week again! :)

had a super long and fun day today! :) Open sunday,Cg lunch,dinner Outside and so much stuffs!!haha..lets start with..

Cg:
had lunch @ cwp today..so cool..we had long john sliver..had a great time talking to the younger ones! seeing them grow deeper and deeper in christ is really encouraging and also to see them everyweek coming to cg and having fun talking with one another..its really amzing..:)
then we went taking neoprints..we made a promise to take cg neoprint every first week of the month..cool.. :) some went arcade after taking neos..some continued to take neos.. :)

Open sunday:
open sunday was really fun!we played captains ball..but not with a ball..but with cabbage..bar of soap..fishballs and sponge coated with water and soap..haha..its really fun..although the weather was super hot..evert one enjoyed themselves playing the game.haha..
the game lasted for 1~2 hours i guess.. its was then we played real captains ball..i didnt play lah..coz i was already super tired out then..haha.. the game ended at 4.30..we went back to Cana hall.. then someone decided to play block catching..cant rmb who..lot of us played..me,beryl,natasha,tammy,valery,limmy,daniel, abel,leonard,eujin,zeken and marcus p..
played for an hour ++..was super tired after running from blocks to blocks..haha..

Dinner:
went out for dinner at mos burger..with beryl,valery,tammy,tiffany,andrea,caleb leow,raymund daniel and david..had fun toking to them..couldnt stop laughing..haha..drank strawberry milk shake..it was nice but it was too thick..made me super full..haha..sent beryl home after that..reach home at abt 9+..was an hour late home..but mommy didnt say anything..maybe she cant be bothered..haha..i am always home late.. :P

better go off le..:)..post tml..school starts tml..bleahx..buhbye~
*ximin
~dinner was great guys! hehe..

2006-02-03T23:44:00.000+08:00

hey guys..

had a long and tired day..went to some places..=)

firstly..went to my friends place today..her niece is soo cute..haha..very chubby..she kept on holding on to a bottle of fruit tips..hinting us."i want a sweet.."haha..really cute..went we abt to leave..she started crying..my friends and i got no idea wat to do so we just walked off..

they came to my place..started playing cards..coz my mommy wasnt at home..i didnt play lah..just watch them play and trying to keep their volume down..coz my sister not feeling well..sleeping in her room..haha..

went to the movies after that..ate soo much junk food..burger,nacho,whipped potato..potato croquette..and many many food..we went to watch its quite sad the show...couldnt stop crying..its really touching..you guys should watch it..=P

after the movies..its abt 7++..so decided to go home..was wondering to go for jpm anot..think for a long time..then decided to go..had fun with hannah and elizza..mean while prayed for alot of things..coz glad that i went for jpm..=)

reach home at 10.20+..was super tired out..but jus couldnt sleep..haha..thought of many thigns lah..my week and what i learnt from jpm..realised that god not only gave us a peaceful country also gave us a beautiful world to live in..and also family and friends..beautiful ppl he created..its really marvellous..=)

learnt from the movie wat family meants..a lame meaning..Father And Mother I Love You!haha..lame right..but preants are the most important ppl in the family..they are important roles at home..haha..glad to be part of my family though my mommy always say "you are picked from the rubbish bin..extra one..if not i kept you in you will be dunno where le.."haha..though i knew what she say wasnt true..but i couldnt be bothered to talk back..(coz all i get in return will be grandmothers stories and naggings..=P) because i know that i am created for a purpose..so are you!!

God created us for a purpose..we are not accident..

"It's in Christ that we find out who we are and what we are living for.Long before we first heard of Christ and got our hopes up,he had his eyes on us,had designs on us for glorious living, part of the overall purpose he is working out in everything and everyone." Ehphesians 1:11(msg)

"Everything got started in Him and finds it purpose in him." Colossians 1:16b(msg)

anw..gtg le..=) buh bye..talk more tml..
~ximin
*theres no strangers in this world..only friends yet to be met!=)

Only One

2006-02-01T19:07:00.000+08:00

Only One
I stand before You now my Saviour
Shouting Your praise
You've changed my world and made my heart sing
And everything i have
I lay it at Your feet

Everything is different now with You my God
You broke my chains of sins
You're always there to lift me when i fall
You never let me go
Lord i give You my all

Now that I've found You everything around me is changing
Nothing will be the same
Now that You've saved me

I'll be the one to shout Your fame forever
i'll be the one who sing Your praise
My Saviour
You are the strength inside of me
You are the light that let's me see
My only One

this is my favourite song..it really mean alot..
Everything is really different now with Him my Lord..He have change my world and broke my chains of sins..Now i found Him everything around me is changing,Nothing will be the same now that He saved me..He is the strength inside of me..The strength that pull me through each and everyday..Making each day and everyday special and a lesson to be learnt..He is also the light that let me see..The light that shows all the wonderful things he have done in us and in the beautiful world we live in..
Its really great to have him as my Lord an Saviour!

gtg go now..buhbye~
~ximin
*this song is really meaningful to me..hope this post encourages you!=)

Happy CNY!

2006-01-30T14:13:00.000+08:00

Happy Chinese New Year !!

happy CNY guys!hope you have a prosperous year ahead..=)

anw..new year is soo fun..met alot of frens and cousins..soo cool..good thing is i didnt spent it alone..haha..

but i hate the travelling part..can kill lah..motion sickness kills..haha..and also they time spent at houses..sooo tiring and slacking..bleahx..i think only my parents enjoyed themselves..haha.
but really fun to see alot of ppl meeting up with each other..talking and enjoying themselves..=)

went to soo many ppl house ytd..super tiring..but had bits of fun here and there..cool..
didnt get a wink ytd nite..haha..watch soccer and see my sister frens play mahjong..abit bored lah..wanna sleep cannot sleep..too noisy..haha..luckily they ended abt 5-6..so i gotta catch a few hours of beauty sleep..haha..

no cant do anythinng i want..soo many ppl at my place..bleahx..kids..haha...i betta go entertain them le..if not my mommy is going to nag at me again..=P

gtg guys..tok tonight perharrps..enjoy urself ..its CNY..=) buhbyee..
~ximin
**cny new year its a time for families to come together and renuion..enjoy the time with your family and frens!!

2006-01-27T19:41:00.000+08:00

hello..

school ended early today!=)without noticing..cny is coming!haha...happy new year to all!!=)

went out with isabelle to the movies today!had a great time with her..we watch [[ cheapen by the dozens 2 ]] its a nice comedy=)went to a few shops after that..walk around..saw a shirt from 77 th street..super nice..but didnt buy..=)buying after cny..thats when i got $$!

reach home at abt 5.30..was alone at home..so sian..everyone went out..throw me alone at home..so fed up..my mommy came back at 6.30..to put down her stuffs..i tot i could have dinner with her!who knows..after she made a phone call she went out again..its like i dun exist!didnt expect to have dinner alone..decided not to eat le..dun wanna eat alone..
decided to clear up my room.but still its super messy..so tired now..hate to be alone at home..

i better go clean up my room le..=)buhbye!
~ximin
*hate to be alone at home..

2006-01-27T19:26:00.000+08:00

Cherish today!

Take Each Day As It Comes, Life Is Stressful Enough.
Do Not Look Back And Grieve Over The Past,
Theres Nothing Much You Can Do About It.
Do Not Worry About The Future,
For It Has Yet To Come.
As Long As It Is Called Today,
CHERISH IT!

Live Each And Everyday As If It Is Your Last,
And You Will Find Each Day Worth Living For!

~ximin
*hope this encourages you..

did ee today!=)

2006-01-25T22:13:00.000+08:00

hey hey!

had a meaningful day today..=)had quite a tiring day lah.but really glad..=)
went to school today as usual lor..had el test..quite difficult..bu can do..hope can pass..hehe..finally understand how to do lit le!!haha..essay planning..its not that difficult after all..=)reach home at abt 5++..did my lit file..so difficult..do wrong..make until super ugly..hope teacher wun scold..hehe..

talk to my friend today..she feeling down lah..shes a christian too!just that she dun go for church and stuffs..she felt abit lost and not feeling that good..too stressed..having too much work i guess..so i chatted with her..did ee with her too!first time doing so..abit scared..but still did lah..she felt better afterwards..so glad..she really a good fren of mine..=)
talking to her make me think of my past..when i was a new believer..felt lost in christ and need someone to encourage and also someone there to be for me..she just like me..but really glad that she dun feel that lost anymore..=)

went out with my cousin in the evening..to buy some things..wanted to buy a shirt form 77th street..but she stop me..say not nice..too boy le..after that i felt the same too..hehe..so didnt but that..she gav me alot of opinion on what i should wear..feel so weird but also learnt alot of things at the same time..=)

better go off le..=)buhbye!!
~ximin
*encourgement really do wonders..

nice shoes..=)

2006-01-24T21:52:00.000+08:00

hey guys..

awww..had a super tired day in school today..but had some fun stuffs too lah=)..ad art today!mr lim showed us all his old works..super nice..was attracted to the colour he used..super nice i tell you..after recess had physics..=)was really tired..dozed off during class..but already understand wat the teacher was teaching..so its ok..=) school ended at abt 2.15..wanted to go home and rest..suddenly realise have interact meeting @ 3!!....went for the meeting and reached home at 4++..have english test tml..dunno can pass anot..will try my best..=)

went out with mummy to cwp today..bought a new shoe from addidas..=) like it soo much!its white with 3 black strips on each side..=)also bought a new shirt from giodano too..black tee..ok lah..not bad..wanted to make specs too..but mommy needs to go home..so didnt make..my old specs got scratch,cannot wear le..

hmm..today post very short..coz nth to rite..=)update again tml..try to make it long k?=)
gtg le..school tml..buhbye!!

~ximin
*thankew mommy..for the shoe you bought..=)thankew!!

opps..

2006-01-23T18:53:00.000+08:00

hey..
opps..sorry..didnt update ytd..coz was out the whole day..went home quite late..=)this post is gonna be weird..=)sunday and today!=)tok abt sunday first..

sunday
had a long day today!=)met yongling for breakfast at cwp yakun..had a great time with her..=)
went back to church for 9am service..

had for a short breakfast with my cg!help hannah to buy bao..haha..went over to adeline place..we got ppl joining us too..frankie yongling and the girl fom the provision shop..so cool!haha..had taboo,short worship and bs..=)soo fun..love adeline's place..=)

went back to church after cg..had lunch with david and aaron..david was so bored that he threw his chicken chop sauce on me..stained my shirt..arg..my camp t-shirt..haha..went home to change..had floorball at abt 3..played four match..so fun!=)

went out for dinner with beryl,yongling,vera,lucille,sarah,raymund and caleb!wanted to have crabbys..after all the long discussiong and collecting of cash..the crabs are sold out..aww..but that wasnt all..=)we shared table with a indian guy and had ee with him!discussed alot of stuffs together..and you noe wat?he had been to church before!when he was young..from the sharing i learnt alot of things too!=)really had a great dinner with you guys!=)

today
went back to school like others..was really tired out..didnt had a good night sleep..haha..

well..thing went on usual..didnt have lots og homework..coz i did all in class..was really tired in class..fell asleep during maths..missed the whole maths lesson..haix..

class ended at 1.45..went home after school..rest awhile and did my art work..so difficult!had a hard time doing it..anw..completed it at 3+ then went online..chat until 6+..went running under my block..felt better..more energetic..=)

wanna thank god for a few things..
sunday
*for breakfast i had with yongling=)
*for bringing the younger ones back to cg ytd
*for floorball we had
*for the indian guy which we met ytd
*for the dinner i had with yongling,beryl,vera,lucille,sarah,raymund and caleb
today
*for bringing me back to school
*for the fruitful time i had with my friends

hmm..gtg le..=)buhbye.

~ximin
*doing e e is really fun..=)

saturday..

2006-01-21T22:26:00.000+08:00

its saturday again!

went to church to meet beryl to do school work..instead of getting out at 12..i went out at 11+.so walked to her place..meet her then walk back to chirch..did my art..so difficult!!did stippling..lucky yongling was there..teaching me..thankew!!=)did for awhile then went to lucnch with beryl,yongling and both calebs..after lunch..continued to do my art..beryl did her homework.. yongling did her revision..had fun studying with them..so fun!=)

had captains ball at 3!though not many ppl was there..we had fun too!wore the wrong clour shirt today..i wore black..playing under the big big sun..haha..but really enjoyed myself..the little girl from the pro v came to join us..shes only four!i played with her awhile..beryl n yongling had a hard time with her..coz she kept running around..she sticks to yongling alot..haha..after yongling left to study..she started crying non stop..wanted to look for her..cry n cry n cry..me beryl n sulwyn tried to carry her back to pro v..its horrible!we tried toking to her for a long long time before she stop throwing her temper and cry..we carried her back..when we started to leave n go back to church..he followed us!so scary..so we decided not to talk to her..

now i noe that kids can be really really horrible..only some..some kids can be really cute and adorable..they can be a blessing though...babies are like bringing hope to the world..a new life,new starting..so cool..=)

had dinner after captains ball..went dinner with valery..quite fun.tok to her..shared wat happen in her week and my week..walked her home after that..the stairs so creepy and quiet..so scary..i nearly couldnt move and jus wanted to sit there..luckily i didnt..if not i will never be home! haha

yippiee..sunday tml!!have cg!=)cant wait to see all the younger ones..they are really an encouragment to me!always there for you..
meeting yongling for breakfast tml morning!!better go sleep liao..=)

gtg le..take care guys!!buhbye~!
~ximin
*kids are blessings and hope to the world..

2006-01-20T23:06:00.000+08:00

hey guys...

had a tiring day today..i reach home at 1pm.. rest awhile then had lunch alone at home..did some of the homework..the easy ones..left with art..doing it tml..meeting beryl in the afternoon to do homework..then will be having captains ball..yippeee..

finished my homework at around 5...only then my mommy came home..oso not sure where she went..hmm..my 3rd sister wanted me to help her "spring"clean her room..she got soo much stuffs filled with layers of dust..like a few years never clean le..haha..took out alot of old stuff.."threw" away alot too..but like mostly went to my room instead of the dustbin..she did all the simple chores like messing up the room and throwing thing whereas i did all the wiping and clearing up her mess..haha..now i realised that dust can kill..made me had rashes..even so..i enjoyed the time spent with her..talking,cleaning and clearing things..

my mum had a hard time too!she helped us wash the cloths..haha..abt 7pm..thats when peace was destroyed..my 2nd sister came home..she hadnt been home for like a week?got a scolding from my mom..i got involved too..argg..was forced to off the com..started nagging at me..when i didnt do anything WRONG..peace only came back when my mommy frens came over for "aunties talk"..lucky..=P

lesson learnt today..to force my sister to come home before my dad..if not i will be suffering with nagging..not really nagging.just lots of grandmother stories my mum will sa at me..haha..my sisters can make the whole house upside down..=)but i really cherish all the times we had together since i was born..they are really caring and is a encouragment in evrything i do..xiexie jiejie..=)

better go le..need to wake up at 6.30 tml..buhbye!
~ximin
*having sisters is really a great blessing..=)

2006-01-19T20:29:00.000+08:00

hey guys..
had my maths test today..it was terrible..=(..out of 20 questions i only noe 6..haix..failed my first test of the term!sobsob..
hand in my art today too..most of us had to redo..so do i..need to improve on the colouring..=)art is really fun..the teacher is really funny and cool..haha..

hmm..the rest of the day have been okie..went for np training today too..learn abt lots of things today..
training was abit dishertening..well..we had drills..and was really tired out because of the big big sun and the many many pumpings we did..after that we had pioneering..we are surpose to make a garget that can support a person..things was going on okie at first..all of the sudden we had some communication problems and started to sort of "quarrel" and also lack of teamwork..then we were all disheartened and some started crying while having debrief..
i was sad n lost..sitting there dunno what do..keep quiet thru out the whole training..coz have been missing trainiing..then started feeling abit left out..things got better after we all talked abt it..looking for solutions..yupps..

its really a big lesson i have learnt..miscommunication can lead to disheartening to the whole batch..lack of teamwork too..its really important to have teamwork and understanding with each other in a team..as saying.."united we stand , divided we fall"hope that training will be better next week!also hope that more people will come for training=)

hmm..better end here..still got homework to complete..=)buhbye!

~ximin
*teamwork and communication is important..=)

huh...

2006-01-18T21:41:00.000+08:00

hi guys..
changed my blogskin le..=).though i still like the previous one..haha.

hmm...how have ur day been??mine?still the same as before..just that today is abit upsat abt some things..was thinking abt how i spend my previous year with my family n frens..n found out that its really bad..hmm..haven been studying hard n have been wasting time out with frens or watching tv..also thought abt how i have been behaving..didnt turn out well as well..

talked to beryl too..she told me where i went wrong.. have really been encouraging me too..telling me what should do and stuff..shes is always there to cheer me up and giving me advices..really glad to have her around!hmm..really decided to change..to someone better i guess?=) dun wanna waste my time doing useless stuffs but to spend time doing meaningful things n study hard!
thankew beryl!=)

hmm..finally finished my art work..so ugly..aww..hope Mr jay lim will not scold tml..=)
having test tml too..maths..studied wat i should study le..really hope that i can pass...jiayou!=)
have np training tml too..really dun feel like going for training..its really bad lo..i really cant interact with them..dunno wat to do le..do i really have to go??

hmm..i better go le..school tml..=)buhbye~!

~ximin
*friends are really important in every part of ur life..treasure them!

yupps

2006-01-17T20:20:00.001+08:00

hey..
2nd day of school..hows your day? hmm..nothing special for me..went to school as usual..
had art today..gotta draw somethng which i dun even understand abt..haha..just draw lo..have to colour too..toning n stuffs...hmm..among all my sub..art and biology is the best..so fun..=)

argg...having maths test on thursday..i gonna fail lah..haven really understand all the formula and question..hope i can pass with what i know..=)

other then that..school have been fine..really miss all my friend..all in different classes..=(..still not really used to sec 3 life..so tiring..tons of homework..but the teacher have been really lenient by giving bit by bit instead of all at the same time..and dun expect you to hand in the next day..this year have been abit better then last..i got to know some of my friend better..drew closer to them and really enjoy the time i had with them..=)

wanna thanks isabelle,valery and amanda for encouraging me all along..its really encouraging to have someone there for you..thank you!=)

"The lord is good,a refuge in times of trouble.He cares for those who trust in him." Nahum 1:7
This verse tell us that the lord is there for you in times of trouble..a refuge for you..he cares for you who trust him....no matter what happens trust in him for he cares for you and is there for you in times of trouble!
You may be the youngest but you can encourage others too!!
in 1 timothy 4:12 says that: "Let no one depise your youth but be an example for the believers in word, in conduct, in spirit, in faith, in purity."

gtg le..buhbye! Jiayou for those schooling!=)

~ximin
trust in him for he cares for you!

hmmm...

2006-01-16T20:52:00.000+08:00

hey!
school as usual today..gotta photostat the whole biology book!because out of stock le..my teacher said it will not be published ANYMORE..it will be out of face..haix..so for 2 years i be using paper as text book..=(
Anyway..school was ok for me..had 4 periods of maths today..cause the teacher took away CME for maths.so for straight 2 hours i had maths..so tiring..there's a test on maths on thursday..hope i can pass..cause chapter two is really difficult!!good luck for me..=)

Went to the staff room with my fren after school..saw my sec 2 chinese teacher standing alone the corridor testing 2 of her student some chinese idioms which i learnt during sec 2..they got a hard time thinking hard for the answer..i stood there beside my teacher listening to the question and started answering one by one..my teacher and the 2 student was amazed,by how i remembered the answer..haha..had a fun time then..

reach home at about 2.30..was alone at home..started flipping my bag looking for homework..
then found out that all my homework only need to be handed up on friday..suddenly felt that my teachers aren't that bad afterall..=)

hmm..gotta go le..=)school tml..buh bye..

~ximin
*no matter what happens..just remember that he is there for you..looking after you and protecting you..and he loves you just as you are..Jiayou

Sunday!

2006-01-15T21:46:00.000+08:00

my favourite day of the week!=)

went to church today..had cg at adeline's place today..like going to her place..very cosy..haha..=)
we played taboo at her place haha..had a great time.after that had BS..my favourite!!we learnt abt the lord's greatest commandment of all..

Jesus answered"The first commandments is: Hear, O Israel, the Lord our God, the Lord is one.
'And you shall love the Lord your God with all your heart, with all your soul, with all your mind, and with all your strength.'This is the first commandment.
"And the second, like this:'Your shall love your neighbor as yourself.'There is no other commandment greater then these." Mark 12:29-31(nkjv)

The verse is telling us that we should love him with all heart, all our soul and all our strength.And also to love your neighbor and friends like yourself..love them and treat them like how you want them to treat you..example like spent time with them talking or study and even to pray together!yapp..

hmm..had captains ball today too!played for awhile at around 3..coz the weather is too HOT!haha..was waiting for the weather to cool down abit..started playing again at abt 4.30.. praise the Lord the weather turned cooling!
played captains ball until 5.15 then went to play pick-a-ball..first time playing it..its really fun!raymund and pris tought me how to serve and whack the ball..really had a great time in church today!

wanna thank God for a few things:
*for cg..thank him for bringing the younger ones back in cg..
*for the time we spent together in adelines place
*for the games and bible study organised..=)
*for captains ball..the good weather that he had grant us with and for the people who played..
*for the people he bought into YM!=)

also wanna pray for a few things:
*pray that he will take me thru the week
*pray that i will understand my maths lessons i struggling with
*pray that i will have time talking to the younger ones in cg..to encourage them and ask about thier week..
*pray that things will be going on smoothly in school and at home!
*pray that everyone will be safe n sound and can go thru the week fruitfully
*and of couse pray that he will bring each and everyone of us back to church next week!

really had a great day today..gtg!school tml..=)Jiayou!

~ximin
love your friends like how you want them to love you!

tired..

2006-01-14T23:08:00.000+08:00

Hey guys..
went out to buy presnt today with sulwyn,valery,aaron,jeanette and dinah..had fun picking presents and the time had with them!so cool!!hmm..adeline's b'day tml..Happy b'day mamafam!hehe!=)

After that had captain ball in church..really enjoyed playing captains ball today..there was 17 ppl...yongling,anthony,sulwyn,pris,valery,caleb, amanda,esther,aaron,jeanette,leonard,john,raymund,beryl, isabelle and two more ppl..i dunno their name :)..hmm.. but its really had a great game..
hmm..then we played lailailai..farand join us..the game was so fun..haha..moving from chairs to chairs..left to right..haha..couldnt stop laughing..then we played a running game..i dunno the name of it..that game made me run for so many rounds..until the legs aches..=(

hmm..after that had dinner with beryl,jeanette and isabelle at cwp..then went
window shopping..reach home at about 9.20..so bushed..but really had a great time with them..=)

Wanna pray that captains ball not only can reach out to others in the public and also bring them into youth ministry!Jiayou!=)

Cant wait for tml!Have service ,extended worship and Cg!better stop here..bye..Take care..

~ximin
*shopping with friends can be really fun!Captains ball rawkx=)

Tell the world that

2006-01-13T18:04:00.000+08:00

Don't want to stand here and shout Your praise
And walk away and forget Your Name
I'll stand for You if it's all I do
Cause there's nothing compares to You

Cause all I want in this lifetime is You
And all I want in this whole world is you

Tell the world that that Jesus lives
Tell the world that,tell the world that
Tell the world that he died for them
Tell the world that he lives again

No longer I but Christ in me
Cause it's the truth that sets me free
How could this world be a better place?
But by thy mercy and by thy grace

c'mon,c'mon we'll tell the world about You
c'mon,c'mon we'll tell the world about You

Tell the world that that Jesus lives
Tell the world that,tell the world that
Tell the world that he died for them
Tell the world that he lives again

c'mon,c'mon we'll tell the world about You
Tell the world that
Tell the world that
c'mon,c'mon we'll tell the world about You
Tell the world that
Tell the world that
About You

from this song i learn that theres nothing compares to him and it is his truth that sets us free again from sin and its by his grace and mercy that made this world a better place.

-ximin
"And he said to them,''Go into all the world and preach the gospel to every creature.He who believes and is baptized will be saved; but he who does not believe will be condemned.'' Mark 16:15-16(nkjv)